Mustard Seed Community

Hello all

2011-10-03T09:46:00.000+08:00

Good morning friends,

I was so happy to hear from all of you on saturday! even though I only heard a mass of laughter, it brought joy to my ears! Someone recently asked me what i missed most about Singapore and I can assure you that you guys are very important to me! In fact, I can fly my entire family up here but I cant do that for the whole community so its the whole community spirit that I miss most in Sg! You are no.1 !!!!! Cant believe we are 12 years old now. It is very difficult to find a community here, and all the more I am affirmed that what we have in singapore is a miracle so i urge you to persevere in community living even when times get tough! Dont disband before i come back ah (haha kidding!)

Anyway last friday was a horrible day for me, realising that someone in Beijing is trying to backstab me. With BCC emails and the likes. And pretending to be very nice over the phone. You see, this CHINA asst. director does not manage clients well at all, and always over promises and under delivers. So the clients are pissed and the only way he can get off is........... blame it on the consultants. And the partner doesnt speak to us if it is true, he just takes what these people say as true. Thank god I have amazing friends here in the HK and Singapore office who now tell me that yes I need to look out for these people. Anyway, I was so angry that day, both with my performance (aka not checking emails when it was typhoon day off), and also for evil people who like to make matters worse! I boycotted the company gathering and it was just a bad bad day.

On Sunday, when i was in church, i was just lifting up the whole story to God and I came to a realisation that I was so disappointed because I was trying to please my boss. Therefore, from today, I refuse to work for my boss but rather for God.

So friends, HALLELUJAH, its monday! Happy working for the Lord :)

p.s ben, perhaps we should have a blog on the website? and more pictures of the anniversary soon? HAHA

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

into the unknown

2011-05-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

The Prayer Of Mary

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children forever.

(Lk 1:46-55)

Today's mass was a reminder for me to trust Him in all things and let Him lead me into the unknown. Firstly I managed to go for confession after such a long time... almost two years. Praise God for that. Secondly, I was very encouraged by Father's sermon. Today's reading was on the magnificat, how Mary was singing God's praises and remembering His deeds throughout all of human history and how she was praising Him as He leads her on to the unknown as well, into her role as the mother of God and the responsibilities she bears. It really touched me as I head out into the unknown too, over the next two months, that God is looking out for me and that He will provide for my spiritual and physical needs.

"Remember this date 3 months from now. Good things are in store for you."

Praise God :)

building priorities

2011-04-09T23:37:00.001+08:00

Marcus complained I have stopped sharing, but I shall prove him wrong! ;)

Anyways, some of you know I am back in Singapore but I am now in Jakarta, will be in Indonesia for 10 days before I head back.

To be honest, I am not sure where my faith stands now, I am a Sunday Catholic like it or not and I think what has made me this way is making everything else a priority above God. I shared with CA, I know at the end of the day, I believe even though I don't feel like it. When I look back at the last few years, how can I not thank Him for His countless blessings? Yet at the same time, I am not able to place Him at the center of my life.... work, especially work competes with Him for that seat for the throne of my heart, spirit and mind. Also being away without a community really does not help to increase or build your faith. After a while, you do feel distant. period.

As I was preparing for my next field season in Indonesia, I was reading my blog entries written a year back, especially during the period when I was so down and out before my previous field season. Somehow I had run out of steam and just really felt like giving up the damn PhD. It's a very different feeling from how I feel now. I am less stressed and more excited to see how things flow in the next season. Somehow I feel more self-assured and confident in my abilities. For this I want to thank and praise God for helping me through and seeing me through. And especially for sending people who constantly showed their love and support for what I do, what I want to achieve; who believed in me and encouraged me not to give up.
Recently I was faced with a situation where my schedule had to be pushed back and that meant not spending Easter with the community and my family. I was really considering this decision with my mind - logically, I should be efficient and place this as first priority, no excuses. But after going through my blog posts and seeing the wonders the Lord has done for me, I was really thinking carefully, this time with my heart. And I knew at that moment, that my actions will reveal what are the priorities of my heart. If God is first in my life, then show it. And I decided to make a small step, by pushing all my plans back for a week or two, which also means starting the field season later, and going back for the weekend to spend some time with God, family and community. Even if the entire Lent went by without much meaning and reflection, I do hope the Lord will show me His mercy and graces during the remembrance of His death and resurrection for me.

Praise God.

Literally SAVED!

2011-01-24T11:27:00.001+08:00

Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 19:44:01 -0800
From: Clarice
Subject: thanksgiving email

We have all heard the proverbial saying - "there's a light at the end of the tunnel." Well, these words
literally came true for me and my family on that unforgettable day - Sunday, 18 April 2010.

On that fateful morning, when my family and I were sound asleep at 4am, the house caught fire. We
were trapped-in and thick black smoke was bellowing everywhere. My 2 children, husband, mother-in-law
and I were gripped with fear as we struggled and gasped for air. We were locked in pitch darkness, we
could not even see our own fingers!

There seemed no way out. Who would help us? I could hear my husband's desparate cries for help. But

who could hear us at that hour? Could anyone come to our rescue in time? In those helpless moments,

which seemed eternal, we panicked! We lost not only our sense of direction, but also our minds. We could

not even apply any of the emergency SOP (Standard Operation Procedure) which we have heard of so often.

Thoughts raced through my mind as I held on to my son's hand. What will happen to my children? How could

I be so helpless and let this befall them at this young age? At that moment, holding on to my son, l regretted

those fights that I had with him, it all seemed so futile. Feelings of regret surged.

Cornered and realising no exit in the backyard, I cried out to Jesus, "Lord, it's all in Your hands now...only You

can save us now." At that point, I realised how small we are. No matter who we are or what we have

accomplished thus far in life, it will all be gone in a few minutes for we could not save ourselves. Racing against

time, seconds before the fire burned through from the roof, whether we live or die, that decision was all in God's

hands...

Suddenly, in the total darkness and thick blinding smoke, there was a loud crash and the first light appeared.

Help had arrived!! Someone had broken through the front metal gate and glass door!! At that moment, I

understood the meaning of 'God-like experience' and 'miracle'....

That morning, we were all warded. My husband, son and myself were warded in ICU. My son and husband

remained in hospital longer as they both suffered asphyxiation. As a result of smoke inhalation, my husband's

vocal chords were damaged to a large extend, his lungs collapsed and kidneys had to be flushed. My husband

was saved a second time.

My son was traumatised and I sustained 15 stitches in my foot.

Although today Sebastian does not sound the same as he did before, he is much more audible and is on the

road to recovery.

My 8-year old daughter told me that things happened for a reason and she believed it was for a good cause.

Needless to say, the fire has destroyed much of our belongings, my husband's work - collection of his music

pieces & years of music arrangements & hardwork, working tools...But when we put aside our feelings of loss

& anger, and look at the brighter side of life, indeed what she said is true. This incident has rekindled our

relationship with many - within the family, with friends, with even people whom we have hardly spoken with.

Due to this incident, my husband has finally reconciled with his father who had passed away 3 years ago. He

has come to terms with his feelings for his father and now visits him ever so often at the collumbarium, a place

he had refused to step in since the day of his father's funeral.

The incident has brought us closer to God & the Church and has also reminded us not to take life for granted.

It was a humbling event. For whatever we want or have in life, ultimately, God is the centre of it all and He

loves us. His message to us can come in many forms and this incident is just one of the channels. One, which

has touched us.

We are very grateful to all those who came to our rescue, especially the 3 young adults and our neighbours,

who had braced the heat and danger to save us all. We are touched by the support we have received from

our families, relatives, dear friends from all areas of our lives and colleagues.

We are especially grateful for all of your prayers since the day of the incident, for you have prayed for us

although you do not know us and you felt our pain even though you have not seen us. Thank you so much.

Above all, we thank Jesus for hearing my cry at that darkest moment, HE is the light of hope. God bless the

3 'teen-Angels', who had lost their way in the awe hours of that fateful morning and rushed into rescue

operation with the neighbours when they saw fire bellowing from our roof top. Till today, we are unable to

locate these 3 young adults but we are eternally grateful to them and to God, for it is He who had sent them....

Please continue to pray for us. Thank you and God bless you.

Eternally grateful,

Sebastian, Clarice, Daryle & Danelle

united in prayer

2010-12-11T21:41:00.001+08:00

Feeling old?

2010-12-05T21:54:00.002+08:00

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
Luke 18:27

Be careful that you do not grow too old in your mind. Choose the youthful path - the path of exuberance, hope, idealism, and the joy of defining each day as totally new and unknown. Each day, embrace the fresh young spirit of Christ within you (which is a great defense against attitudes that are judgmental and doubting).

Of course, what I am encouraging is no easy thing. It's hard to cling to idealism and be an 'adult' at the same time. People will call you naive or ignorant; they will accuse you of being in denial of life's gritty underbelly. But idealism is the fountain of youth, and those who hold to it remain young right up to the day they die. I suppose that is because idealism acts as a strong guardian of innocence.

Do not allow your innocence to be stolen away from you. Stay young, and never lose faith in your ideals.

from "Alone with God" by Michael Warden

Because you love reading about us...:p

2010-12-03T05:19:00.001+08:00

Entitled “the right one”, an article penned six months ago was a sharing on three indicia that could pinpoint who God might will you to be with. The three points were: a person who is 1) ready to receive 2) inspires you to be good and 3) shares similar principles. Half a year later, in a spirit of accountability and honesty, I intend to conduct another quest into the dynamics of relationships.

By way of introduction, allow me a reiteration of this cliché. The truth, though painful, sets us free. Through a series of events, God infused a deep appreciation of my insecurities that has been both humbling and freeing. It started with a rather tumultuous ex-relationship, the subsequent support of two good friends and then in February, the acquaintance and then a relationship with Jean. Drawing from these experiences, I observe the enslaving chaos that insecurities can inflict and the liberating truth that our partners can invite us to:

In law, holding a person back against his will is called “false imprisonment”. In life, a person often wills his own imprisonment of falsehood. Shackled by senseless insecurities, I willed mine in a cycle of possession and guilt. One instance needing to be in control, at another being apologetic for being consumed by it. With the steel chain and lock of emotional blackmails and admonishments, I therefore “secured” my relationship… to the point of its ultimate extinction. I learnt that the reason why there is such a law, as it is evident in life, is that a person is supposed to be free. Eventually exiting from the relationship therefore came as no surprise to my peers, and I am convinced, to hers as well.

Fast forward the story by about a year and a half, I learnt that one of the truths that our partners can invite us to- is a sense of our helplessness. We are helpless in the face of our own inadequacies and in the face of the other’s. Now, this can lead to despair only if the Greater truth is not revealed: that God is with us. A Jesuit priest once observed that this is the very thematic message running through the Gospel- from the meaning of Emmanuel, “God is with us”; to the call for “two or three to be in My Name, and there I will be” to the final verses of “ I will be with you always, to the end of age”. This Greater truth becomes the source of our hope and joy. In Jesus, we can become more. “I am not the sum of my successes and failures, but the sum of my Father’s love for me.” Together with Jean, I am slowly encountering that.

Encounters provoke responses. Paraphrasing Henri Nouwen, “seeing our blessedness underneath our brokenness” is, in my opinion, the first response to truth. This is the first step to freedom. Jean has been God’s mouthpiece in revealing my blessedness to me. To put it simply, she affirmed me. Inspiring me to see that I am good because He is, Jean led me to unite my personal truth with He who is Truth, Way and Life- to speak a little in the abstract. And as such, the insecurities, though they are not vanquished, governs with significantly reduced force.

How does this come about? First, it comes with an attitude of seeking the good and the true. These are not mere intellectual jargon. Months ago, under the pressures of a punishing workload, I was in a dilemma whether to accord a hefty 3 hours to paying respects to my grandmother on a non-obligatory event. Jean shared that my mum struck her as a person never to impose. If she did want something, she would put it in the subtlest way possible. That my mum asked us a number of times was thereby conclusive of her wishes. With a keen sense of and pursuit for the good and true, did Jean elucidate my mother’s inner feelings, and made the loving thing to do be in plain sight.

Secondly, gentleness is strength. Truth does not come about from the brute domination of logic, or scathing accusations. The need for honesty within a relationship compels a couple to find a way to face the risks of rejection in pointing out a flaw and the vulnerability in admitting to one. For Jean and I we found that speaking the truth gently is penetrative. As such, the disagreements between me and Jean, whether we spoke from our wounds or irritations, were resolved more with gentility, than any once-and-for-all solution. That in my opinion is the right environment by which we can truly invite the other to dialogue. Practically, before responding in a quarrel, one should therefore ask “right now, what is the most loving thing to do?” Sometimes it just means keeping quiet.

By way of conclusion, to be blasé about the effects of our past, when we are in a relationship, is unwise. It dangerously inflicts unhappiness within the couple without allowing them to put a real finger to the underlying issues. On the other hand, to be consumed by the helplessness of our human situation, is to ignore the fact that Jesus created the human path to the divine. A relationship should touch on our areas of darkness with the light of compassion and truth. I tell Jean that she is a gift for a myriad of reasons. Primarily, it is because she paves the way to God. And God speaks not in the thunder and earthquake, but in the breeze.

The point of this is not to write a romance novel- I leave that to the capable hands of Nicholas Sparks, Danielle Steele and the like. Rather, I intend to explore the human realities that underpin my relationship, not in the assumption that yours could be generalized, but in the hope that certain truths can be revealed to you, as it was to me.

Marcus

p.s. Though I should have made this at the offset, I figured that it would be more comical and economical to make the two quick apologies, after my readers have browsed through the article. First, for those have regarded my writings about my relationship extenso ad nauseum, I can only ask for your indulgence. Secondly, my writings would inevitably have straddled between the real and abstract for illustration. As such, do bear with me.

We will rise again

2010-11-08T13:24:00.002+08:00

For all of you who are weary and tired, God says,

I am strength to the weary; to the weak I am new life

Though the young may grow weary, I will be their hope

quite an overdue sharing

2010-09-12T00:13:00.003+08:00

It has ben pretty hectic on my side and I really apologise I won't be able to make it for this year's anniversary celebrations. My apologies again that I appear and disappear and have not been able to keep in touch with everyone in community but I guess, that will be my life in community for a while. I have been back for a few days to take a break from my fieldwork and these few days were really important for me to catch up with my family and close friends and to draw my strength from relationships that mean very much to me. I wished I could have joined for Tues night sharing but I only came back on Tues night itself. But thank you all for all your constant prayers, love and understanding. I guess even though I am not present, I know I am very much cared for by this community. It is a pity I have not been able to witness the growth of my fellow community members and to get to know new community members in my absence.

Just want to share with you guys how I have been coping (since many of you ask but I have not had the full time and luxury to go in detail of how I have been) but yes, it's been quite a year of stress and struggles in handling this stress in my life. But during my short break, I read a book called "When Mars and Venus Collide" by John Gray which talks about our male and female ways of handing stress and I find that really true in my life.

An excerpt from my blog:

How I handle stress.

That has been a big problem ever since I started my PhD. The posts over the last year reveal the amount of stress I have been experiencing as well as the constant battle with loneliness and depression as I soldier on this duty of working out my PhD. I honestly did not expect the loneliness and the stress so when it got bad, it got pretty bad. Plus, I did not realise I was wired for the need to be supported in my life. Being far from family and friends, I had to do my PhD without my familiar network of support and that affected me very much as I could not lower my stress levels well. I was constantly in the phase of finishing very single thing on my to-do list, when all I needed was to do an activity which made me feel better. I felt I had to finish everything before I could get a break, but as every woman will tell you, this never happens. So instead, I drove myself to the ground and felt so inadequate when I could not be happy even after striking off things to do on my list. I gained this insight as I read the book "When Mars and Venus Collide" by John Gray and I am discovering more and more about how women, how I deal with stress and how this affects my relationship with myself and with the people close to me. So many instances I recalled the moments in the previous relationship and I can truly understand now why my ex behaved the way he did in the past. It was really funny yet a little sad at the same time as I misinterpreted so many things from him but I guess it's all part of the learning process. Another important thing which shed light on why I did not feel fulfilled from my PhD - men tend to reduce their stress levels when they succeed in accomplishing tasks at work but women, though they too view success as work just as importantly as men, find their stress levels reduced rather in the quality of relationships they have around them. This is very important to me because I have been feeling an overwhelming sense of uselessness in what I do now every now and then and I think it is the lack of support that is draining my spirits away, rather than the work I do. This is important because I am beginning to resent my PhD because I feel it takes me away from the relationships I want to be in and be nourished by. I am not too sure how to fix this, building new relationships and making time for this support is definitely important, but when I am out in the field, I guess I need to stop trying to finish every single thing on my list and to do something I enjoy like watching a movie or reading books (thankfully I am a bookworm). This understanding has helped me in my personal life and I do hope the book helps me in my next relationship especially in understanding these Martian ways of men and knowing how my womanly ways can complement them and my next relationship a much more fulfilling and successful one. But for now, being single has its advantages of investing in myself and knowing and loving me first.

Thanks be to God for all I have experienced over the last five days and for all the moments where He has watched over my safety and been with me through my difficult times of loneliness and feelings of being overwhelmed.

My God is an awesome God.

P.S. Just a short poem I picked up from Ron Rolheiser's blog and will like to share it here. Regarding loneliness and solitude.

Don't surrender your loneliness

So quickly.

Let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you

As few human

Or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight

Has made my eyes so soft,

My voice

So tender,

My need of God

Absolutely

Clear.

~ Hafiz

the right one

2010-06-15T10:24:00.001+08:00

"In search of the one", an article published in the Catholic News, Jean discussed what relationships are and when a person's deemed ready to enter into a relationship. That article has reached and inspired many. The boyfriend intends, albeit in a slightly cosier setting of the small audience in this humble blog, to build up on this. The question i therefore ask, is " is this the right one?"

Considering the infancy of my relationship, i do not claim to call my answer exhaustive or absolute. My purpose, rather, is to throw up thought on relationships by sharing what i think are the essentials. The second agenda i no longer intend to keep hidden, is that I intend these writings to act as a reminder for me as well. The 3 areas i seek to highlight are as such: sharing similar principles, inspiring each other to the good, and being ready to receive.

Find someone who shares the same principles. Examples of principles Jean and I share are as such: loving means choosing the good for the other; family always first; commitment means discipline; no decision without dialogue; leave no argument unattended. etc. These are principles that you and your partner might already incorporate. I applaud and affirm you on them. Sharing similar principles are important for two reasons: first, it gives direction and shape to a relationship and secondly, it acts as a lubricant to the areas of a relationship that causes friction. The direction a relationship finds where both share the principle of choosing the good for another, just for example, is an environment where we feel protected and are therefore free to be ourselves. On the next point, friction although unpleasant, is necessary. Whats essential is that a couple moves deeper into the relationship through it rather than apart. Having same principles keep the right perspective in plain view. As such, whilst my parents can quarrel about which house is the most suitable, what perhaps resolved the dispute lay in the principle "family before self". Find someone who shares with you similar principles. And if you are already in a relationship- even better. Dialogue to search for the similar principles that not only do you two agree with, but are convicted by.

Find someone who inspires you to be good. One of the few things i recall from a vocation retreat years back is that a decision is judged by the fruits. Are these fruits of faith, hope and charity? Father Anthony Ho asked, "are these fruits good, are they long lasting, and do they glorify God?" Similarly, a partner (whether potential or existing) is assessed by the person that he or she allows us to become (or at least see ourselves become).

Such a person challenges us to see our own blessedness. This is because we find the confidence to love when we see ourselves as loved, first. In my reflections of what it means to be a gift to Jean, i realize that this is impossible unless I see within myself the good that i can give. The good i see within me, creates the conviction that i not only can identify the good in her, but can choose to give what is good within me to her. This is the journey of charity that i know i've embarked upon.

How do we know whether we are being "fruitful" in our relationships? Here, we see the wisdom behind Jean's 4th advice for couples- do not be exclusive. It is our friends and community that will be able to tell whether we are growing or simply changing. As such, ask for truthful observations from a loving community.

Find someone who is ready to receive. In a reflection on the scriptural verse " there is more happiness in giving than in receiving", Henri Nouwen wrote that where we choose to receive, we allow the other the happiness of giving. If you are ready to give, then the corollary of that, must be a partner who is ready to receive. Now there is a difference between this, and a person who is only there to receive. A person who is ready to receive, blesses the other when the gift is imperfect. Such a person is open to being surprised. A person who is only there to receive- makes criticisms as to why things couldnt be better. He wonders when is the next, better surprise going to be. I must admit to being the second person a long while ago. It was unsatisfying and exhausted the relationship. A person ready to receive, gives abundantly and freely. This is because such a person appreciates the value of a gift. And where we walk down the matrimonial path and decide to give ourselves, isnt the greatest joy having the other be ready to receive all that we are?

These are the 3 boxes to consider ticking in finding your right partner. If you are already in an existing relationship, I leave you these boxes to decide whether they are worthy of reflection. I do not think these are idealistic. I think they are aspiration-al. One's shrouded in naïveté, another in hope. And I hope that this reflection brings joy to you as you encounter and discover love in all its many forms. And if you are single, I hope that this, if anything, allows you to think, more seriously, as to the kind of relationship you want to enter into.

breaking the rules

2010-05-30T04:57:00.002+08:00

From a good friend of mine who is going through a really rough time

Excerpt of Naomi and her shattered dreams in "Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb.

"... Naomi took that risk. She openly admitted her bitterness and depression as present realities. We're more inclined to report a past struggle, a formerly troubled heart that has now been quieted by God's peace.

We Christians are an impatient lot. We insist on gathering grain before it grows. We want to see flowers before spring and fruit before fall. When a brother or sister is going through a tough time, we insist that the Spirit's work be obvious. Unless they speak of their trails from a spiritual perspective, we tend to apply pressure more than we dispense grace. We rarely believe that life is hidden in the barren tree. Let a friend express his exasperation with a four-letter word, and immediately we're more concerned with his language than with his agony.

No farmer goes to the orchard in winter to pick apples. Christians do it all the time. And when the fruit isn't there, we walk off in disgust. The good farmer patiently waits with his basket, knowing he will soon fill it with delicious fruit.

The Christian community is often a dangerous place to be when your dreams shatter. Initially, friends are warmly understanding and supportive. Last week I spent many hours with a friend whose wife was hovering between life and death. At one point I said, "I will walk with you through this experience." Many others surrounded him with love and deeds of kindness.

And that's good. But two unwritten rules eventually surface in our response to one who hurts. First, mourning has a time limit. I once heard a preacher tell his congregation, "We must pray for our dear sister. She lost her husband two months ago and is still battling grief. She should be over it by now."

Only a few heart-dead people would speak such words. But we're not as far removed from that attitude as we think. At some point, we insist on victory.

Second, we think there's a proper way to mourn. Ugly battles should remain out of sight. Acceptable battles may be shared, but only if we season our account with hope. A husband may admit to his small group, "My wife and I sometimes quarrel, but we know the Spirit is working to bring us closer together." I think I would stand up and cheer if just once I heard a man share, "My wife and I right now hate each other's guts. We want a good marriage, but we have no idea what to do and we're scared out of our wits we'll never figure it out." (I should point out that my applause would be for the man's realism, not for the state of his marriage.)

The level of honesty is reserved for the counseling office. Church is too often a place of pretense and therefore a place without hope. When brokenness is disdained, where the real story is never told, the power of God is not felt. Where brokenness is invited and received with grace, the gospel comes alive with hope.

Naomi broke both the time-limit rule and the proper-mourning rule. Her husband had died nearly ten years earlier, her sons more recently but still long enough ago that by now she should have gained perspective. But still she was reeling. Where was her faith?is God good or not? Is He worthy of trust or does He make mistakes? I can see her community pointing fingers while expressing similar admonitions...

The church has become a community of either the victorious or the acceptably broken. Either we speak glowingly of our love for Jesus - usually because the blessings are abundant - or we struggle nobly through hard times, convincing others and sometimes ourselves that we're doing better than we are. With each other we're more proper than real, more appropriate than alive.

Naomi broke the rules. She stood broken before her community, admitting who she was rather than pretending to be who she should have been. The result is more pain and, although not right away, more hope. Had she deadened her pain and behaved appropriately, she would have found the contentment of Buddha and missed the joy of Christ...."

The Decline of Confrontation

2010-05-29T08:04:00.002+08:00

In an article called, "Decline of Controversy", Archbishop Fulton Sheen wrote about how there is hardly any controversy these days. "The Church loves controversy, and loves it for two reasons: because intellectual conflict is informing and because she is madly in love with rationalism." the Archbishop says. In a community that does not really look towards intellectual formation rather than a personal encounter with God and personal experiences in relationships, another similar decline takes place: the decline of confrontation. We must love confrontation for two other reasons: it is informing as to who that person is, and that is necessary if we are eventually going to love the person.

When i was away from MSC years back, I was approached by quite a few persons, one of whom is Mel. In that discussion, she said quite simply, "i think leaving is easy". At that point in time, in my arrogance, i paid scant attention to the truth behind this. But along the way, I did come to see the point she was trying to make. She was saying, in other words, "it is easier to run from a problem then to confront it". I did not confront the community for their wounding remarks and insensitivity, thinking that i am being over sensitive or that there is no reason to 'rock the boat' in our friendship. But under the rocks of misgivings and unforgiveness were my walls built, and so did my distance from the community. Such walls can come down.

Two friends from the community and I had huge differences with each other in the past. Those differences, because of our ego, were not settled and what took its place instead were polite smiles and friendly hugs that never addressed them. But one day- after months of unresolved anger- as we sat down at the market, one of us suggested to "go around the table and to share the impressions we have of each other". We were shocked. The impressions we had of each other, were in no way who we really were. They were ideas and prejudices built up over time, that had distorted our original understanding of each other as friends. That is when we realised one thing- that our understandings of each other and our friendship was in fact a very shallow one. In ancient wars, armies hurl rocks with catapults so that they might inflict the damage while being on safe ground. We were launching our "rocks" of criticism at each other, without really knowing or wanting to know who the other was- in fear that we would more deeply encounter our own personal wounds.

Yet, the most exciting part about a shallow relationship lies in its potential to go deeper. We go deeper when we interact, when we share but perhaps deepest when we confront. Because that is where it becomes necessary to talk about feelings, it becomes necessary to share vulnerabilities. Confrontations do not cause hurt. They reveal it. And that is life giving.

When persons dare to say, "I thought you did me a wrong then",the seed kernel of misunderstandings and wrong impressions dies away to reveal the new life of a transforming and healing truth. We begin to see just as how we are broken, so is the other. With that, comes a genuine need to know the other better, just as how we would want to be known better- to accept all that he or she is, just like how we would want to be accepted the way we are. That is the transforming forgiveness that takes place.

This truth is hard to take- and that is why its easier to walk away. But the question, after every controversy or confrontation Jesus will pose, as he did to Peter, is, "are you leaving too?" Mel was right, leaving is easier. But fighting, is definitely more meaningful.

A simple but beautiful event

2010-05-09T20:29:00.002+08:00

Seems like everyone is busy and noone is blogging! I have not updated my personal blog for a month now...

Just like to say I really miss my fellow mustard seedlings. I hope all is well and I am overjoyed of the recent news for Eve and Celine :D

Today I attended mass after two weeks of not attending mass due to my break in UK. As usual, I am late and stand at the back of the church (tsk tsk) and I saw this sweet little girl with curly brown hair and a very cheeky smile on her face. She was talking to her daddy who was almost 4 times as tall as her and half way through, she just raised up her hands and asked her daddy to carry her. I could see the expression on her face. There was no trace of doubt that her daddy will love her and carry her. All she had to do was ask. Then she rest her cheek on his shoulder and just looked so content.

Maybe I am chasing after the wrong things in my life. Work has become a Number One priority and has absorbed my thoughts, energy and emotions that I rarely see God in my life. I had some problems with the project direction before I left for the UK and was so stressed out and so reluctant to go for my break that I was hoping that the Icelandic ash cloud would continue on so that I could get a full refund from my airticket provider. I guess God had other plans for me, and He taught me through the trip that relationships are what matter in life. The work I do is important and is good, but it should never replace my relationship with God and with the people I love. It was a good break and I came back feeling happier and certainly less worried or stressed out than before. It was so obvious, my friends all noticed this change in me.

Seeing this girl in church today reminded me that I do not need to earn or to do things for God to love me. Maybe that's why I feel quite guilty and sheepish here. I am not involved in ministry as I was before, and that just equated to being a slacker and a self-complex of an undeserving child. Moreover, I felt many doubts in my faith and the feeling of indifference to God and the church and her people. Well, I guessed being away has allowed me to reflect more on my relationship with God and how I can do more to know Him better.

Now that I am back with the work facing me, I recall the words that are before my study table in Singapore:

Lord, help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I can't handle together.

A reconciled friendship

2010-03-11T10:04:00.001+08:00

The past week was a tough week for me to handle, but it ended off well. On Sunday, Jesus taught me 2 lessons.

Through Bishop Corn from Brunei, he taught me the true meaning behind the 3 temptations of jesus in the desert. Those temptations have always felt irrelevant to me, as they seem to be "temptations for god". Bishop made it so simple and clear, it almost a reveleation. Praise God!

Turn the stone into bread: Temptation to be relevant. People want bread, not stones! This temptation is telling us that our identity is based on what I do, when it should be based on "I am a beloved child of God".

Throw yourself down the cliff and the angels will support you: Temptation to be popular. This temptation is telling us that our identity is based on what people say I am, when it should be based on "I am a beloved child of God".

I can give you all these kingdoms: Temptation to be powerful. I am what I have. This temptation is telling us that our identity is based on what we own and possess, when it should be based on "I am a beloved child of God".

I think I fall into all these temptations, and knowing that these are the very temptations that Jesus managed to overcome gives me the strength. I will continue to pray for the grace to change. The temptations are particularly strong when you study in a business school as its all about being:

Relevant and selling products that customers want

Popular and the no. 1 choice of customers

Powerful since its a dog eat dog world

Moving on to the second lesson.

In the past week, I had a "quarrel" with a friend from school. It wasn't really a quarrel because I didn't respond, and he just took the liberty to send me 10 messages of insults. When he eventually apologised, I replied to say that I wasn't angry, and I really wasn't at that point in time. Later on, I became angrier and I realise I do not want to forgive this friend. I learnt something new about myself: If someone were to scold me for something, you better believe strongly in it, and I will ponder it in my heart and reflect on my shortcomings. If you, later on discovered that you made a mistake, and that you were quick to inflict hurt without serious considerations, I will turn around and think: If you cannot even decide on a position, then how dare you judge me! In other words, I am open to correction, but please give it some serious thought first. Its not something small to fiddle with.

And so I became resentful, and PROUD. And I wanted to terminate the friendship. This is where god taught me the second lesson on Sunday, that I have been blessed with many friends. But if I were to have this attitude of "I have so many friends anyway, whats the point of having to sweat over one! Let me just write the person off and move on, its his loss, not mine anyway" attitude, then I have been a bad steward of his gift. And if I cannot prove myself worthy of this talent/gift, why should the lord shower me with more gifts/riches/talents in other areas of my life?

Its not that I suddenly find the resolve to forgive this person. In fact, I still pretty much not want to forgive because I think the apology is not sincere enough. And its a fact that for me, this friendship has proved to be a time consuming effort (we quarrel big time the week before and I don't engage in quarrels of this intensity even once a year!) and being the epitomy of cost-benefit analysis and curve of diminishing returns, I hardly find the logical reason to "invest" in this friendship. But what has changed, at least by the grace of god, is the turning to prayer that god help to resolve this situation.

This entry was written on Monday. Praise god i have since reconciled with my friend on Tuesday after mass! We planned to meet up at 6pm and the 530pm mass was on forgiveness and forgiving your brother 77 times!

I thank god for being the sole constant in my life. What am I to do without him!

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

On correcting a community member

2010-02-27T18:19:00.000+08:00

Connect by being candid
by Rick Warren

"An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." Proverbs 24:26 (GNT)

The fourth key to connecting with people is this: Be candid about problems in the relationship.

Being candid and being connected go together. You don't have one without the other. Genuine, healthy, deep, meaningful relationships are built on honesty, not on flattery. Flattery is a sign of a manipulator, not a sign of somebody who is genuinely your friend.

All of us have blind spots. The question that really matters is, do you have anybody in your life who loves you enough to point them out? You cannot grow unless somebody points out the things that you can't see in your life, but that need changing. Let me give you three rules for being candid in relationships:

1. Compliment in public, correct in private. Do this with your children, your spouse, your employees, and your friends.

2. Correct when they're up and not down. When I'm feeling good, I can handle almost any correction. When I'm feeling tired, I can't handle anything. Timing is everything when you're being candid.

3. Never offer correction until you've proven that you are also willing to be corrected.Remember, seek to understand before seeking to be understood. You open up your life before you expecting someone else to be open with you.

Connecting means we care enough to be candid. Who do you need to get honest with? Is there an issue you need to be candid about? "An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." (Proverbs 24:26 GNT)

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Sharing my Lenten struggles

2010-02-23T06:11:00.001+08:00

It's Lent. And I have not really thought about what to give up. I have not given much thought about Lent at all. Without community, it just seems like there is no support to really making Lent a priority in my life. I did commit certain things to God in church, but it's just so difficult once I step out of church. I know areas in my life that God is asking from me.. but I still feel resistant and unwilling to let Him take these areas of my life away. I want to fast, well.. I should stop coming up with excuses and just do it. I will like to fast from food and be more fervent in prayer. Ah, but once I make that choice, a hundred temptations pop up from everywhere around me and being human, I do fail. Perhaps spending Lent away from community is not too bad a thing, it can be a time or more personal walking with God and finding out who He is and to strip away the attachments which I associate with Him.

Work has been overwhelming. I feel suffocated sometimes by the responsibilities and the data which I need to collect and make sense of. Key to all these worries, is the low confidence I have in conducting social sciences methods and applying them in a conservation realm. I have failed badly once for my honours, and fear of failure is just one of my greatest weakness. I'm so afraid that I don't even try, and that's an even greater failure. I have also been relying more on my strength than God's and it's time to perhaps come back to the reason why I am here, and trust in God that He has a way and will lead me in my confusion and self doubts.

Old thinking: Can I really do this? I don't think I'm smart enough and I have the capabilities to pull this off.

New thinking: If God has led me here, there is a purpose and a way to do this. I need to trust in God and trust in the gifts of intelligence, diligence and compassion that He has bestowed upon me to do the work I need to do.

Lent

2010-02-18T05:14:00.005+08:00

Just came back from Ash Wednesday mass and it's strange beginning Lent without community, without my beloved parish. I was hoping the song 'Ashes' be sang during the receiving of ashes, cause that's just so SFX. But no song. :( However, after receiving communion, they did sing the song and I was really glad to hear it and to sing along... felt a little more like home :)

Have a blessed Lent guys! May the Lord grant you His grace as a child and as a community to reconcile and be drawn closer to Him.

In my time away

2010-02-15T12:41:00.004+08:00

Dear all,

Hello again after a long time! Just wanted to say that although you haven't been in my prayers, your growing presence gives me a lot of encouragement to persevere in my walk in the faith. There are many things I would like to share, but which is probably too private for this space. So I just want to let you all know how my practice of the faith has developed.

1. Sunday mass with the family (as usual)
2. I am no longer with any church group. Instead I spend almost every night with my mum, reading the bible together for half an hour. I think this has been a lot more meaningful for her and for me, than to pray for her while I'm at mustard seed.
3. Occasionally, I go to the catholic spirituality center on my own, to spend time with God. During the past year I clarified my prayers and now have a few that I pray about regularly. This is a big change from not really knowing how to approach God in prayer. While I've not had any real responses (that I recognise), this practice in prayer has comforted and calmed me often, when I feel lost, or lonely, or just restless (and meaningless) in this journey called life.

God bless all and a very happy chinese new year! :)

Serene

mistaking our faith as one of expectations

2010-02-13T21:38:00.002+08:00

"With every step of our lives we enter into a story that we are certain to misunderstand" GK Chesterton. I've entered into a catholic story. And I am certain that I have misunderstood it. Maybe the biggest mistake that I used to make is to think that this religion is one of expectations.

We expect to be saved, we expect to meet the nicest of persons and we expect others to safeguard our vulnerabilities. On the other hand, we take on the full brunt of a whole host of other expectations: that of commitment, the rules and rites that we have to go for and those others have of us. Thus, a day of "obligation". Expectations are a bag of bricks and it makes us ask, sooner or later, what is the meaning behind all of it.

I do think that there is an invitation to interpret it all differently. "If you know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, why cant you interpret the sign of the times?" Matthew 16:2-3. The question is: is there? Is there a way to see the cup half-full?

It is not easy to recall, constantly, the self-evident and obvious fact that we are human. But that is the starting point of any meaningful reflection: because I am human, I am a person who's embraced by all that my humanity clothes me with. Those are sentiments, failings, achievements, weaknesses, losses, rights....and responsibilities. Responsibility, in my opinion, is the other interpretation.

What then does responsibility mean?
First, knowing that no one lives your life.
Second, appreciating that your life has an impact on others.
Third, getting to decide what kind of impact that has on others.

Through this lens, faith then becomes personal and not imposed. Since it is "my life", I am going to decide whether to accept this invitation to believe. When I accept this invitation, I am becoming open to appreciate the fact that my life and my belief interacts with others. As a result of this interaction, I have to choose the way in which this interaction affects them. That is why the one of the greatest commandments is to love your neighbour- not because it tells others we are Christians, but because in so doing we become one.

With responsibility, comes the idea of empowerment. This is because the christian sense of responsibility is infused with meaning, it is paved with direction and cushioned with compassion. Where one reflects that his or her life is precious, because it can be gone in an instant, then the actions that flow from it becomes meaningful. With reason, comes motivation. The choices that are made is infused with a sense of purpose, and persons become reasons to hope in, rather than expect of.

It is this hope that one presents to another, when one is willing to show his or her wounds and his or her pierced sides to say "doubt no longer but believe" that we begin to uncover a little bit more, of what our faith is really about.

How do we know if this is the one we shd marry?

2010-02-09T16:46:00.000+08:00

This is the website recommended from today's talk on "Love vs Lust". the website is:

Godofdesire.com

i read this portion and found it interesting - the qn that we always ask - how do we know if this is the one we shd marry?

it's very long, but it's definitely worth reading.

And so, this is the great caveat: When we are seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven, when we are truly drawing near to God, then, and only then, we can trust what is revealed in our longing for another. Only when we long first for the creator can we discover what we truly need to know from our longing for a creature. So, first, we need to find out whether this relationship is drawing us closer to God, and making us desire Him more.

One good test of this is to see whether we are drawing closer to our church family. If our courtship is Godly, it should result in stronger friendships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We should be drawn more deeply into ministry and service and true communion with the Body of Christ.

If our courtship is Godly, it should be good for our families as well. They may or may not like it, depending upon their own openness to the Lord's will, but it should be good for them. If the people closest to us are better off, that is a very good sign that we're doing the Lord's will.

Approval is a different thing than being better off. When it comes to approval, we should seek the input of wise counselors and our most trustworthy friends. They must be involved all along the way. Their approval must factor in as well.

A relationship which draws us away from our Church community, causes harm to our loved ones, or is discouraged by our most trustworthy guides, is a relationship which is probably not Godly, but selfish.

But, if all indicators are that the relationship is in fact Godly, that our desire for the things of God is indeed increasing, then we can gain great insight from our desire for the person we are courting.

The Lord Himself is the creator of our romantic and passionate desires. He wants to fulfill them, not to eradicate them. What is needed is simply that our desire be Godly, that it be ordered to and integrated with the things that are of God.

How do we recognize Godly desire? By these three things--that we are drawn to the person's mind, body, and spirit.

I am drawn to her mind. I am enamored of the way she thinks about things and expresses her thoughts. Her way of understanding the world around her energizes and excites me. I want to know more about what she thinks. This is an essential and irreplaceable aspect of attraction.

Next, I long to be with her because I am drawn to her physical beauty. It doesn't mean simply that she has a particular body shape or facial structure. It means that I smile when I see her walking toward me. I want her close to me. I want to look at her. I want to touch and hold her. This is another essential and irreplaceable type of attraction.

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, I am drawn to her spirit. When I think about her, and when I am with her, I sense the presence of God. I am actually conscious of God in her, moving in her, loving her and desiring her for himself. As I come closer to her heart, I sense the power of God drawing me closer to his heart. This too, is an essential and irreplaceable type of attraction.

Evelyn Chen

Direction of the Community

2010-02-05T13:54:00.001+08:00

Friends, we didnt have the time to think about this during the recent AGM, but I sincerely think its of utmost importance that the community finds the time (perhaps a sunday session) for each member to write on a three-by-five card, what their vision of the community is.

Unless we are focused, moving ahead in the right direction which jesus is leading us towards can we become a better community!

Praise God always! Shen shen per cao!

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

wisdom and listening with love

2010-02-01T03:42:00.001+08:00

Jesus replied,
"You do not realise now what I am doing,
but later you will understand."
John 13:7

Wisdom and learning come not from experience, but from our reactions to it. Learning from experience is a matter of choice. The nature of the experience is irrelevant; it is the attitude of the heart that determines what we get out of it. The lessons from experience are learned slowly, over time, like a seed planted in the ground. But when the plant finally bears fruit - when we finally understand - we are permanently changed.

Not everyone who goes through an experience will respond well, however. Some will simply forget about it - their seed is stolen away. Some will interpret the experience wrongly, or fail to apply the lesson to their lives - their seed is choked out by other concerns. But some will receive the lesson implanted, and they will be changed. Learning to be teachable in the midst of any experience - whether pleasant or painful - is the heart of wisdom.

Jesus uses experience to sift our hearts and separate out for Himself those whose hearts are teachable and willing. Experience beautifies the hearts of those who are humble and hardens the hearts of those who demand their own way. Its a decision of the heart. Do not resist Him, but commit yourself to remain moldable in His hand.

Taken from "Alone with God, Biblical Inspiration for the Unmarried" by Michael Warden.

Living abroad does amass a wealth of experience for me, I just discovered yesterday how to tap into that wealth of experience :)

Today's sermon in mass also striked a chord with me. It was about listening with love. The priest mentioned how many times, when we listen to people's problems, we are filtering what they say and trying to come up with a response at the same time. I know I am so guilty of that, with my friends, in my relationships, during the times I did ministry in community and with the youths. Listening requires us to be in the shoes of others and understand where they are coming from. How very often we simply assume to know where they come from and we give our stories to try to comfort them and suggest them ways to overcome. These actions stem from good intentions, but are sometimes not what the person who is speaking really needs. In our ministries, our relationships, let us be more aware of how we have been good listeners to those around us and strive to hone our listening skills.

But you Promised!

2010-01-25T19:11:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, I promised Jesus that I would go to Novena for confession and mass today. But in the end, I went to SPP and postponed it to tomorrow because it was "inconvenient".

I was already feeling bad enough, because delayed obedience is not obedience and look how he is teaching me further using Rick Warren.

Praise the Lord, Master and Teacher.

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows. Proverbs 20:25 (NIV)

Have you ever ...

... promised to deliver by a set date and later regretted it?
... volunteered for a job you had no idea would take so long?
... agreed to a deal that looked great but wasn't?
... accepted an invitation you wish you hadn't?

Eventually, we all learn by experience a basic law of life: It's always easier to get in than get out! The Bible says, "It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows." (Proverbs 20:25, NIV)

There are three common commitment traps:

The Money Trap -- It's always easier to get into debt than out of debt! It's always easier to borrow than to pay it back.

The Partnership Trap -- It's always easier to get into a partnership, or a relationship, than to get out of one!

The Time Trap -- It's always easier to fill your schedule than to fulfill it! You can get so many irons in the fire that you put out the fire!

The solution: remember what the Bible says; don't make rash vows.

In other words, choose your commitments carefully; think before you speak; under-promise and over-deliver. With this, you'll build a reputation as a person of your word

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

'But You Promised'

2010-01-25T19:08:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, I promised Jesus that I would go to Novena for confession and mass today. But in the end, I went to SPP and postponed it to tomorrow because it was "inconvenient".

I was already feeling bad enough, because delayed obedience is not obedience and look how he is teaching me further using Rick Warren.

Praise the Lord, Master and Teacher.

Raymond

Monday, January 25, 2010

'But You Promised'
by Rick Warren

It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows. Proverbs 20:25 (NIV)

Have you ever ...

There are three common commitment traps:

The Money Trap -- It's always easier to get into debt than out of debt! It's always easier to borrow than to pay it back.

The Partnership Trap -- It's always easier to get into a partnership, or a relationship, than to get out of one!

The Time Trap -- It's always easier to fill your schedule than to fulfill it! You can get so many irons in the fire that you put out the fire!

The solution: remember what the Bible says; don't make rash vows.

In other words, choose your commitments carefully; think before you speak; under-promise and over-deliver. With this, you'll build a reputation as a person of your word.

Live the Truth
Go from knowing the truth to living the truth
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123

True living

2010-01-17T05:03:00.004+08:00

I have always liked this reflection from this little book I have called, "Alone with God, Biblical inspirations for the unmarried". Yes, the title may scare some people away, but I remember picking up the book for a second time and giving it some serious consideration before purchasing it. It has passed hands through two of our community members and have received good feedback. :)

It was a good buy :)

Reflection from "Alone with God, Biblical Inspiration for the Unmarried" by Michael Warden
Day 12 (incidentally my favourite number)

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus
the author and perfecter of our faith...
so that you will not get weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:2,3

It's easy to forget and live only in the everyday mundane world. Life becomes merely functional, a series of tasks and duties strung together without meaning. You survive, but you are not really alive. True living is a choice, and you must make it every day, each passing moment. It is not an easy thing to do - merely surviving is far easier - but you were made for greater things.

True living requires great discipline and focus. It takes a heart committed to live deliberately, to defend itself fiercely against unimportant distractions.

If "surviving" is analogous to clinging to the rocky ledge of a high and dangerous cliff, then true living means we must daringly let go and fall, purposefully choosing our safety and future in God's hands rather than trying to cling to life in our own strength. Letting go seems dangerous, but in the end, it is the only way that leads to any sort of real life at all.

Jesus is life. To truly live, you must "fix your eyes on Him" - His ability, His will, His love for you. It is a choice. And if you fail to make it deliberately each day, then you merely choose surviving by default. Therefore, choose life - even if it seems to cost you everything.

The fact is, it always will.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A reflection on community:

I actually wanted to say something which I forgot to while addressing community the Sunday before I went back Zurich. I had wanted to say that the youths in SFX really look up to Mustard Seed Community, our community, for inspiration, for guidance, for role models of faith. I have been reading Leaven of God's blog before that and some of the members posted stuff we post on our blog and they have a link from their blog to ours. A member also posted how she felt very blessed as she stood in mass sitting close to the group of young adults (MSC) who have so much inspired her to be in this journey of faith with her community.

Have we pondered about that? Suddenly I just feel a great sense of responsibility and recall the words Jesus said about "leading one of the little ones astray..." Right, we all go to church, we serve in ministries, in general, we do what the church says. But truly, more than that, when we gossip, when we put others down in ministry, when we discourage others, when we don't forgive, when we are too proud to care, when we choose to assume than to listen, when we judge ... we have the potential to lead the younger ones astray.

Well, I don't mean to pressurise people, but to remind all of us the responsibility we hold as Mustard Seedlings. Off and on I meet people from other parishes, either youths or young adults, and they go like "O... mustard seed community..." and I'm like, "You heard of us?". Cool.

Fwd: Fw: TALK TO YOUR CHILD NOW ... before it's too late

2010-01-12T13:28:00.000+08:00

From Cana:

Hello All

Hope we're all getting back some 'normalcy' in our lives after the happy onslaught of feasting and celebrating - and before we start on another.

This is especially for parents .... but all are welcome!

Now that your children are back in school, adjusting to the new class, new school, new friends, new system, etc .... I think many of you kan cheong also worrying about them, right? And we worry for a host of reasons - academic, social, spiritual, emotional and the list goes one. And we have heard experts say it to us over and over again - COMMUNICATE!!! Which sometimes is easier than done.

So we thought it be good to start 2010 with "TALK TO YOUR CHILD NOW (before it's too late)" - we are not going to spew you with advice on how to communicate but to share with you how one family's loss of a young son gave rise to many lessons in healing, parent-child relation, goodness, strength, reinforcement of the faith, etc.

CANA has invited Dr Belinda Wee, the aunt of Thaddeus Cheong - the young man who died after his trialthone feat in the 2007 SEA Games - to share lessons learnt from Thaddeus' death. Some of you may have read yesterday's Life section which spoke of Dr Wee's book on Thaddeus which is being made into a movie. Let's share the evening with her in remembering and learning from Thaddeus!!

Date: Tuesday 19 January 2010

Time: 7.30 pm

Venue: CANA The Catholic Centre, 55 Waterloo Street, 2nd Floor

Registration: cana@catholiccentre.com.sg or call 63364467/63364815

Our Pope's message for World Day of Peace

2009-12-18T10:49:00.002+08:00

Having traveled to Indonesia pretty often over the last two months, I have come to appreciate the security and blessings that we as Singaporeans have. They may be small, but they are so significant to allow us to have a stable life, from which we can progress and develop our society.

Clean air, clean water, reliable source of energy, lights for the night, energy to cook and keep our food cold in the fridge.

We do not see the impacts of our environment simply because we are not directly reliant on the environment for our livelihoods. Bad weather? Poor harvest for rice crops in Indonesia, just import from Thailand or Philippines. But many millions in this world are reliant on the weather, the environment for their livelihoods, for a source of income to support their family and send their children to school. We do not see because we are indirectly (but still) impacted by the environment.

So friends, I urge you to be thankful and to also spare a thought for those who are not as fortunate as we are. In a way, please pray for that Man's wanton consumption behaviour be changed into a more prudent and considerate lifestyle.

MESSAGE OF HIS HOLINESS
POPE BENEDICT XVI
FOR THE CELEBRATION OF THE
WORLD DAY OF PEACE

1 JANUARY 2010

IF YOU WANT TO CULTIVATE PEACE, PROTECT CREATION

If you want to cultivate peace, protect creation. The quest for peace by people of good will surely would become easier if all acknowledge the indivisible relationship between God, human beings and the whole of creation. In the light of divine Revelation and in fidelity to the Church’s Tradition, Christians have their own contribution to make. They contemplate the cosmos and its marvels in light of the creative work of the Father and the redemptive work of Christ, who by his death and resurrection has reconciled with God “all things, whether on earth or in heaven” (Col 1:20). Christ, crucified and risen, has bestowed his Spirit of holiness upon mankind, to guide the course of history in anticipation of that day when, with the glorious return of the Saviour, there will be “new heavens and a new earth” (2 Pet 3:13), in which justice and peace will dwell for ever. Protecting the natural environment in order to build a world of peace is thus a duty incumbent upon each and all. It is an urgent challenge, one to be faced with renewed and concerted commitment; it is also a providential opportunity to hand down to coming generations the prospect of a better future for all. May this be clear to world leaders and to those at every level who are concerned for the future of humanity: the protection of creation and peacemaking are profoundly linked! For this reason, I invite all believers to raise a fervent prayer to God, the all-powerful Creator and the Father of mercies, so that all men and women may take to heart the urgent appeal: If you want to cultivate peace, protect creation.

the questions that cannot be answered

2009-11-23T00:14:00.001+08:00

"You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." I have never liked a quote so much. And so here it is-to share with you all.

The Butterfly Circus

2009-11-15T22:02:00.001+08:00

Thanks to Terence K for sharing this on his blog.

God bless guys :))

A riddle- What we have all stopped asking

2009-10-26T09:17:00.013+08:00

This most exciting question was discussed differently before: whether we needed a core, what commitment and journeying means, the influences of the "blue ants and the red ants" etc. Some of you might have encountered this before. Some of us might not know the details of those discussions and I think in general, this question has slowly lost its force at the back of people's minds.

Why have we stopped asking this question? Because the structures in place make me and perhaps many assume that the question is answered or that there are other people asking it. In place of this question is another more insidious and pervasive movement of efficiency that lies within our agendas and behind the manner in which decisions are made. This question is replaced by a work culture that has inevitably entered into the community's, that focuses on the pragmatic at the expense of the spiritual.

What is this question? It is a question that has been asked too often at one point in time, and have become completely non-existent at another. It is one that asks for the individual to ask within himself or herself, in Henry Nouwen's words, what deeply celebrating another's life is. It is a question that has brought many, myself included to be a part. That question has ironically has also made others leave. It is one that hides in the recesses of our being and begs for our attention because it asks what is fundamental- it is embedded in scripture, from the genesis of the first family to the Acts of the apostles. It hides behind the richness of the scriptural verse, "and everyday they met for the breaking of bread" and "when two or three are gathered in my name, there i will be".

Is there a need to ask this question? Archbishop fulton sheen said that this generation has "declined in controversy" and that the church loves controversy because the truth must be re-iterated in a different way to this generation that is one in constant flux. And that dialogue promotes appreciation. We must continue to encounter this question in the ways MSC has grown and evolved, simply because this growth shapes our understanding of this question and at the same time is as a result of it! This question also moves a person to ask "how can i contribute". And this is where the question stops being an abstract, theoretical or even intellectual one. It moves us to reflect on our relationships and moves us to be real. The questions begs our participation and prayer and makes sense of our realities, diverse as they are.

I will be quick to add that there is no final answer, or that there is even a right one. But that is not the point. What is most important is that you ask it. Simply because it is yours to ask. It is not a mathematical definition so that I can prove you wrong when you say two and two equals ten, but a question that is personal and posed to you and you alone. So if some say that the answer is "to find me some friends", that answer if it is not yours will be shown in the choices you make and the way you set your priorities.

And the challenge of the Church today, is to bring one deeper into answering that question. The challenge of our friends today, is to tear away our illusions that shoves this question aside. Finally, The challenge of MSC today is to bring one to encounter the answer.

2009-10-02T12:31:00.001+08:00

September 26, 2009
Relationships are Worth Restoring
by Rick Warren

"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you . . . agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends" (Philippians 2:1-2 Msg).

Relationships are always worth restoring.

Life is all about learning how to love, and God wants us to value relationships and make every effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt or a conflict.

In fact, the Bible tells us that God has given us the ministry of restoring relationships. For this reason a significant amount of the New Testament is devoted to teaching us how to get along with one another.

The Apostle Paul taught that our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity. Since Christ wants his family to be known for our love for each other, broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers. This is why Paul was so embarrassed that the members of the church in Corinth were splitting into warring factions and even taking each other to court.

He wrote, "Shame on you! Surely there is at least one wise person in your fellowship who can settle a dispute between fellow Christians" (1 Cor. 6:5 TEV). He was shocked that no one in the church was mature enough to resolve the conflict peaceably. In the same letter, he said, "I'll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other" (1 Cor. 1:10 Msg).

If you want God's blessing on your life and you want to be known as a child of God, you must learn to be a peacemaker. Jesus said, "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God" (Matt. 5:9 NLT).

Notice Jesus didn't say, "Blessed are the peace lovers," because everyone loves peace. Neither did he say, "Blessed are the peaceable," who are never disturbed by anything. Jesus said, "Blessed are those who work for peace"--those who actively seek to resolve conflict.

Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is hard work, but because you were formed to be a part of God's family, peacemaking is one of the most important skills you can develop.

Unfortunately, most of us were never taught how to resolve conflict, so over the next few days, we'll consider the steps necessary to resolve conflict.

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Reflecting on the 10th Year Anniversary via Colin

2009-09-19T21:06:00.013+08:00

A person that springs to my mind, when i think of MSC and its 10 year anniversary celebration, is Colin. This is the person i will be sharing, who has touched my life and who i believe, is a rich source of reflection and inspiration for all who have started this journey, for all who had walked and are tired and all who wonder where they are going from here.

I will not repeat Colin's personal history to you. That is his story to tell. Instead, what i will tell is the grace that has shown through him, that empowers this community to be the movement it seeks to be today.

Colin is, by all means, one of the most authentic human beings i know. Why authentic human being? Because his life is not simple. It is not "i met God one day" and things became alright from then on. Colin's life is authentic precisely because it reflects the complexity of emotions, of failings and of fears. His life shows that the mustard seed can, against the toils of draught and the hostility of environment, burst forth with life into the sunlight.

Ask him about his life, you will see. You know, it is easy to read about grace from some christian author or a forwarded email- some person being saved by a momentary inspiration that can only be God-given. But to touch and feel up close, a grace that has worked through the painful difficulties of a person's life; from the upheaval of friendships and family to the personal struggles from within, that's the irreplaceable gift of Colin to you.

It is a gift because people dont just get to see and hear the words of God. They get to encounter Him. Just like how Jesus appeared to Thomas to reveal the wounds on his hands and feet such that he would "doubt no longer", similar is this gift. Again, you will have to talk to him to fully understand. What i can only describe is that here is a witness of courage that not many have.

Whilst many fear to be known for who they really are, Colin is uninhibited in sharing who he really is. Beneath the daily grind of working and studying life, comes this young man who looks at every avenue for a reason to rejoice and for every opportunity to allow another to know his life. And ye shall indeed find, for there have been many Sunday mornings where i see his joy in knowing Jesus in a new way, getting some new spiritual direction. That's a renewal that takes place on a statistically microscopic scale, but with results that span into the eternal.

This is not only an affirmation to Colin. But a reflection of the rich gift that God has bestowed in our community. This is something that others will find or have found, that has brought them to join us. This is the branches of the Tree reaching out to the birds of the air, telling them that this can be their home. We start from one man entering a transaction- in exchange for 15 minutes, is a glimpse of God's work through his life. In reflecting about the 10th year anniversary, I am grateful for the growth in my life. That being said, i think i have come to be aware of the many other miracles that this community has, in some way, been a witness to.

May our prayers for vocations lead to many more answering the call

2009-08-13T08:58:00.003+08:00

A good friend of mine sent me this and I thought of just sharing it...
________________________________________________

What is a typical day in the life of a Priest? Every day is different but the following on display in Galway Cathedral will give some clues:

My husband has left me
Can you spare a fiver? I’m out on the streets
Bless me Father for I have sinned
Can you bless our house?
Will you say a prayer that I’ll get the interview?
The Paschal candle's been stolen!
Sarah’s living with her boyfriend
Come up later for the tea
Eddie has given up his faith
My son has got his girlfriend pregnant
What made you become a priest?
The organist refuses to play that!
Alex wants to be confirmed
The folk group has walked out
Dad’s been sent to prison
Deirdre’s on drugs
Father come quickly our mother is dying
Owen doesn’t want to serve Mass any more
Can I marry a Buddhist in a Church ceremony?
Through this holy anointing may the Lord in his love and mercy help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit
My girlfriend is having an abortion
Will you teach me how to pray?
Can you say Mass with the youth group next week?
We want to get married
I’d say she could do with a chat
Do you do baptisms on a Friday?
The Bishop wants your help with something, will you call to his house this evening
Will you help us set up a St.Vincent De Paul conference in the parish?
Something’s really bothering me Father and I’ve never told this to anyone before.

Can i wash less dishes please?

2009-08-11T19:56:00.001+08:00

Building on Your Strengths
by Rick Warren

"The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him" (Romans 12:3 MSG).

Long before words like empowerment became popular, business writer Peter Drucker was telling us that the secret of achieving results is to focus on your strengths and the strengths of those you work with, rather than focusing on weaknesses.

The truth is all of us are a bundle of both strengths and weaknesses. No one is strong in every area. If you closely watch anyone with outstanding strengths, you'll eventually notice that they also exhibit outstanding weaknesses.

I think God planned each of us this way. No one is good at everything, so we need each other and are forced to cooperate. The Bible says this:

"In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't. If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else" (Romans 12:4–6 MSG).

Here's the point: Find out what God made you to do well and do more of it. Don't worry about what you don't do well. In fact, try to do as little as possible of what you don't do well.

Then find out what others do well and help them to be able to do more of it.

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Reminds me of Mother Theresa's Dark Night

2009-07-28T16:56:00.001+08:00

"I go east, but He is not there. I go west, but I cannot find Him. I do not see Him in the north, for He is hidden. I turn to the south, but I cannot find Him. But He knows where I am going" (Job 23:8-10 NLT).

Yesterday we saw that David frequently complained of God's apparent absence; but, the truth is, God hadn't really left David, just as God will never leave you. He has promised repeatedly, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Yet God has not promised "you will always feel My presence." In fact, God admits that sometimes He hides His face from us (Isaiah 45:15).

There are times when He appears to be MIA, missing-in-action, in your life.

Floyd McClung describes it: "You wake up one morning and all your spiritual feelings are gone. You pray, but nothing happens. You rebuke the devil, but it doesn't change anything. You go through spiritual exercises . . . you have your friends pray for you . . . you confess every sin you can imagine, then go around asking forgiveness of everyone you know. You fast . . . still nothing. You begin to wonder how long this spiritual gloom might last. Days? Weeks? Months? Will it ever end? . . . it feels as if your prayers simply bounce off the ceiling. In utter desperation, you cry out, 'What's the matter with me?'" (Finding Friendship with God; Ann Arbor, MI: Vine Books, 1992; 186).

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you! This is a normal part of the testing and maturing of your friendship with God. Every Christian goes through it at least once, and usually several times. It is painful and disconcerting, but it is absolutely vital for the development of your faith.

Knowing this gave Job hope when he could not feel God's presence in his life. He said, "I go east, but He is not there. I go west, but I cannot find Him. I do not see Him in the north, for He is hidden. I turn to the south, but I cannot find Him. But He knows where I am going. And when He has tested me like gold in a fire, He will pronounce me innocent" (Job 23:8-10 NLT).

When God seems distant, you may feel that He is angry with you or is disciplining you for some sin. In fact, sin does disconnect us from intimate fellowship with God. We grieve God's Spirit and quench our fellowship with Him by disobedience, conflict with others, busyness, friendship with the world, and other sins (see Psalm 51; Ephesians 4:29-30; 1 Thessalonians 5:19; Jeremiah 2:32; 1 Corinthians 8:12; James 4:4).

But often this feeling of abandonment or estrangement from God has nothing to do with sin. It is a test of faith—one we all must face: Will you continue to love, trust, obey, and worship God, even when you have no sense of his presence or visible evidence of his work in your life?

The most common mistake Christians make in worship today is seeking an experience rather than seeking God. They look for a feeling, and if it happens, they conclude that they have worshiped. Wrong! In fact, God often removes our feelings so we won't depend on them. Seeking a feeling, even the feeling of closeness to Christ, is not worship.

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

just another retreat-ant's reflections

2009-07-24T03:08:00.004+08:00

Hi seedlings,

haven't written in a long while, but got an inspiration tonight, at Deacon Harold's session. This is going to sound different from my previous posts, or at least it would have sounded different if you were to hear me speak it.

Many things I learnt recently, about friendship, about truth... mostly though about sin that is committed even without the intent to. There is a lack in internet communication, because it doesn't show expression - facial and tonal, and it doesn't commit a person's physical presence. But what it lacks it makes up for in variety, in shrinking physical distances, and in creativity. Sometimes creativity is overrated, and what i've found over the past couple of months, is that the simplest of circumstances can create an amazing greenhouse for reading the bible, conversing with god, and deepening in the faith. Two constants that i've found in my recent faith journey are the constant need for forgiveness and reconciliation with god, as well as prayer and an acknowledgment of blessings. I've also found that at some times, money can add to creating warmth, while at other times, it is an obstacle to community life.

Contraception, marriage and sexual relations had been something that was bothering me a lot early on, and which I had tried to resolve by "talking it out" to no one in particular really but myself (in a very inappropriate manner, i have realized). It bothered me because there was a gap between the "ideals" of the faith (as i saw it) and what is in life. In fact it was and is a very huge gap, and some issues relating to it continue to bug me every now and then, especially the economy of prostitution. I should add too that much of it has also been resolved, because I know now in myself what my own stand or preference is, as well as how much I can bear or accept. Interestingly, what just came up for me tonight is a question about the sacrament of reconciliation. Why is it that only priests can dispense it and not nuns? Why is it that the lay person also seems excluded from dispensing this sacrament? In theory I guess I can see the logic, but there is a huge argument in my heart, or perhaps I should say soul.

Serene Goh

How to decide how much to reveal about yourself

2009-07-22T18:30:00.001+08:00

Here are the latest updates for raymondtheodoreraphael@gmail.com

"Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist" - 1 new article

How to decide how much to reveal about yourself

People ask me all the time how I can be so honest about my life in my blog. They want to know how I can write about marriage, sex, abortions, or running out of money over and over again. It's an endless list really, of the stuff I write about that people can't believe I'm writing about.

But each of you has a list of things in your life similar to that, it's just a list you don't want to talk about. I'm not special—I don't have more stuff that is difficult to talk about. I just have more difficulty not talking about difficult stuff.

This is why.

I'm going to start by telling you that I was at the World Trade Center when it fell. I was in a post-traumatic stress support group afterward. People were divided into groups of ten based on their experience at the site—how bad things were for you that day. I was in a group comprised mostly of people who narrowly escaped the building before it fell and, as they were running out of the building, were splattered by body parts from people who were jumping out of the building.

We had individual therapy as well. Here's what my therapist said to me: "Your childhood was so terrible that your experience at the World Trade Center was nothing compared to what you experienced as a kid. Your post-traumatic stress therapy needs to focus on your childhood."

That was the first time I really had a sense of how bad my childhood had been. I knew everyone in the world thought things at the World Trade Center were terrible. So this must mean that my childhood was really terrible.

I was 34.

When I was five, I knew something was not right. That's when I started therapy. I was never totally sure why my parents were sending me.

When I was seven I knew something was not right because the neighbor came over to our house when my parents were smashing picture frames over each others' head. The neighbor said to me and my little brother, "Come with me."

Then my memories get blurry. The next thing I remember is my high school homeroom teacher. I skipped a day of school and then came to school with a black eye and a note from my dad that said I had been sick. She said that she was not accepting notes from my dad anymore. She said I could not come back to school the next time I miss a day unless I called the police.

I don't remember what I thought when she said that. Except that I thought, "Does she know what's going on at my house? How does she know? I never told her anything."

I remember the next time my dad beat me up though. I called the police and they came. Like always. And my dad said nothing was wrong. Like always. And then the police started to leave. Like always.

But then I said, "Hold it. Wait. My teacher won't let me back in school unless I get a note from you that says I called you."

I don't remember what else happened. I remember the police asking me if I want to leave. I remember my mom saying, "Yes. Please. Take her away. Please."

I went to my grandma's to live. I spent all of high school living at my grandma's. The school social worker spent the rest of high school trying to convince me that my parents did something wrong. My grandma spent the rest of high school telling me that my parents were completely irresponsible. Except at family gatherings. When my parents were there, with my three brothers, and everyone pretended that everything was normal and that I did not live at my grandma's.

I don't remember very much. I went to college and spent my time trying to sort things out: abusive boyfriends, bulimia, anti-depressants, and cutting. Getting nearly straight-A's for a lot of the time. I sorted very little out.

I went to a mental ward the summer of my senior year. My parents visited me. They told me they were happy I was in the mental ward. My extended family visited me and they did not mention my parents. No one talked about why I might be there. My parents were anxious and loud in the family meetings: Begging the doctors to keep me from going back to their house. But even the doctors could not quite figure out why I was there: I worked on my senior thesis, I was a model patient, and I started dating a doctor right after that.

After I graduated, I moved back to Chicago, where he lived and so did my parents. I couldn't figure out how to support myself and there were so many opportunities for me to try nude modeling jobs. The doctor thought it was ridiculous. He thought I was too uptight to model. I said I probably was, but I wanted to try because it was such good money. I said they first test you out in a swimsuit.

He said, "Don't you need some sample photos?"

I said, "Yeah. I have some," and I pulled them out of my bag.

The doctor looked. He smiled. He said, "Who took them?"

I said, "My dad."

The doctor flipped. He went nuts. He couldn't believe it.

I was mostly surprised. I had no idea that my dad taking the photos was weird.

That I didn't know it was weird made the doctor even more upset. I remember trying to figure out why I thought it was okay. Or why he thought it was not okay.

I was 22.

I didn't tell anyone about the pictures. I started having nightmares about having sex with my parents. I started not being able to sleep. I didn't tell anyone though. Because I thought I was crazy.

Then my dad visited me a few years later, when I lived in Los Angeles. He wanted to go camping. I went. I was so nervous about being alone with him that I read almost all of One Hundred Years of Solitude before I went into the tent.

Then he took off his clothes, down to his underwear, and snuggled up next to me, with his arms around me and his penis up against my back.

Then I knew.

Or I thought I knew.

I slept outside the tent. I didn't talk the rest of the time. I don't think he even noticed.

I know the street in Los Angeles we were parked on when I finally asked, "Dad, did you do sexually inappropriate things with me when I was younger?"

He said, "Yes."

I had no memory of what, exactly, he did. I still have no memory of it. And I was scared to ask him more. I asked my mom the same question. She gave me the same answer.

Both parents have said they were sorry. But that is not my point. My point is that my childhood was ruined by secrets.

In hindsight, so many people kept the secret: my family, the police, teachers before my freshman year. Decades later, when I asked my high school friends what they thought of me in high school, two of them told me that everyone thought I was nuts coming to school beaten up so often.

I'm not kidding when I say that I thought I was keeping that a secret.

So what I'm telling you here is that I'm scared of secrets. I'm more scared of keeping things a secret than I am of letting people know that I'm having trouble. People can't believe how I'm willing to write about my life here. But what I can't believe is how much better my life could have been if it had not been full of secrets.

So today, when I have a natural instinct to keep something a secret, I think to myself, "Why? Why don't I want people to know?" Because if I am living an honest life, and my eyes are open, and I'm trying my hardest to be good and kind, then anything I'm doing is fine to tell people.

That's why I can write about what I write about on this blog.

And when you think you cannot tell someone something about yourself, ask yourself, "Really, why not?"

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Rick Warren shares about faith and dreams

2009-07-15T09:29:00.001+08:00

"But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind . . . Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do" (James 1:6, 8 NLT).

After God gives you a dream, the next step for building your faith is decision; God challenges you to do something about your dream.

Nothing is going to happen to that dream until you wake up and put it into action. You've got to make the decision: "I'm going to go for it!" For every ten dreamers in the world, there is only one decision maker. A lot of people have dreams but they never get to step two: making the decision to trust God and follow their dream.

James says, "But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is driven and blown about by the wind. If you are like that, unable to make up your mind and undecided in all you do, you must not think that you will receive anything from the Lord" (James 1:6-7 TEV).

Faith is a verb. It's active and not passive. It's something you do. Decision making is a faith-building activity. You use your muscles of faith.

Faithful decision making requires two things:

1. You must decide to invest your time, money, reputation, and energy. You lay it on the line; you take the plunge. You say, "God, You've told me to do this and I'm going to be faithful to do it!"

2. You have to let go of security. You cannot move in faith and hold onto the past at the same time. You have to move forward. God told Abraham that He was going to make him the father of a great nation, and that meant Abraham had to leave his home for an unknown destination. Moses had to let go of his position in Pharaoh's kingdom in order to do God's will. Nehemiah gave up a secure job in order to go build a wall around Jerusalem. In other words, if you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat.

A great illustration of God's plan is a trapeze artist. They swing out holding onto a trapeze bar, and then they let go in order to grab hold of another trapeze bar that swings them to the other side. But, at one point, they're not holding on to any bar. They're suspended in air for a split second.

Have you ever been there in a career, where you're leaving one job for another and nothing's in between? You're 180 feet above the ground with no net below and holding onto nothing.

But if you don't let go and grab onto the vision God wants you to have, you swing back. Only you don't swing all the way back; instead, you swing back lower and lower until you're finally stopped, hanging there in the air. And there's only one way out: down!

That's why God brings you to a point of decision, so your faith will build as you swing toward the dream God has given you.

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

free-falling

2009-07-06T18:02:00.000+08:00

I'm free falling in my world of faith because I am stripped of what I recognise where God is - in community, in bible sharing, in youth ministry, in chershire home, in St Francis Xavier. And now the challenge is to recognise God in me. I'm still falling and sometimes it's a scary fall, sometimes it's a trust-filled fall, either ways I'm waiting to land on the solid secure bedrock - God Himself.

When what is precious is taken from you

2009-06-28

Perhaps the reality that is hardest of all to accept in life is the unalterable fact that everything that is precious to us will, in some way, eventually be taken away. Our kids grow up and leave home, friends move away, loved ones die, we lose our health, and eventually we die too. Moreover even what is precious to us in terms of our faith and values suffers in the same way: things change, thoughts and feelings shift, rock foundations that once anchored us unassailably give way, doubt creeps in, the bottom falls out, and we are left wondering what we really believe in and what really can be trusted.

Happily this is only half the equation: Everything we lose is eventually given back to us, and in a deeper way. Our kids become wonderful adults who begin to parent us, new bonds of friendship form across distance, we reconnect in a deeper and more permanent way to our loved ones who have died, we find something deeper and more permanent than physical health, death opens us up to the infinite, and the bottom falling out of old beliefs sends us free-falling to a place where we land on bedrock, on a foundation so secure that it can never be shaken again.

We see the pattern for this in scripture in the story of the Jewish community and the Babylonian exile. This is the background:

After arriving in Palestine ("the Promised Land") it took a number of generations to establish control over the land, unite all the various tribes into one nation, and build a temple in Jerusalem as center for worship. The great kings, David and Solomon, accomplished this and the people were left with a great sense of security, both political and religious. They felt strong, especially religiously. God had promised them a land, and now they had a land; God had promised them a king, and now they had a king; and God had promised them a temple, and now they had a temple. They saw in those three realities: land, king, and temple, sure proof of God's existence and God's providence for them. God's promises were empirically verifiable.

But, just when they were most complacent inside of that security, the Assyrians came and conquered the land, deported all the people to Babylon, killed the king, and knocked down the temple to its last stone. With that, the loss of land, king, and temple, the bottom fell out of their world, religiously and literally. Everything that had once anchored their security had been taken away from them and they felt exiled not just from their homeland but also from their God and their religion. If God's presence was assured in land, king, and temple, and these have been taken from us, where is God? How to you continue to believe, trust, and live in joy when all that once anchored these has been taken from you?

God's answer was this: You will find me again, when you search for me in a deeper way, with your whole heart, your whole mind, and your whole soul. God gives us that same answer today whenever we feel betrayed, orphaned, and disoriented in this same way.

And this is the deep lesson: In terms of our faith and values, everything that isn't God, be it ever so true and wonderful, will eventually be taken away from us. Why? They aren't God. They might serve wonderfully for a time as icons, but icons held too tightly or held too long become idols from which we need to be purged.

This is true even for what is most precious to us religiously - scripture, the creeds of our faith, the church itself, great saints, great moral mentors. In the end, wonderful as they are, they aren't God. They can be wonderful vehicles towards God, icons, PowerPoint presentations about God, but they aren't God and always eventually, somehow a needed iconoclasm will occur and we will, not without deep pain and disillusionment, learn this through bitter experience. All good spiritual literature, including scripture itself, makes this clear.

Icons help lead to God, idols help block access to God. An idol is simply an icon that has been held on to for too long. And so there is a purifying dynamic written into the DNA of faith itself: We are given certain things to hang onto for a time, a certain language, certain rituals, certain creeds and dogmas, a certain understanding of our faith, holy men and women as models, spiritual literature that nourishes us, and, not least, a certain inner sense of trust and security that all of this is good, is right, and is in some way God.

And this is good, for awhile. But the day comes, usually occasioned by deep pain and loss, where the bottom falls out and we go into a free-fall where, no matter what we try to grasp onto will not hold us until eventually we land on something solid, bedrock, God himself.

Our One Great Fidelity

2009-06-23T05:00:00.001+08:00

Was doing some late night surfing and came across this article by Ron Rolheiser.
I think it's true, the older I become, the more I realise the mystery of my faith, the unseeable, the unimaginable, the intangible God and the very fragility of my faith. The Eucharist, in all its simplicity gives me the strength to keep on pushing and sustaining me in my faith.

Do have a read!

http://www.ronrolheiser.com/columnarchive/archive_display.php?rec_id=466

The Eucharist is such a ritual-container for Christians. We can't sustain our faith, charity, forgiveness, and hope on the basis of feeling or thought, but we can sustain them through the Eucharist. We can't always be clear-headed or warm-hearted; we can't always be sure that we know the exact path of God; and we won't always measure up morally and humanly to what faith asks of us. But we can be faithful in this one, deep way: We can go to the Eucharist regularly.

God loves giving you surprises

2009-06-22T06:33:00.004+08:00

Or a tight slap in the face for that matter...

haha...

You see, living by yourself in a country with few people you know is a challenging thing.
And there I was complaining my lungs out to God about my loneliness in Switzerland.

"Why you bring me here then never help me? Hmph!" *pout*

But this morning's Gospel about Jesus calming the sea taught me that even though God may be sleeping, He is always there and is just waiting for you to ask Him, and to ask Him in the way He wants you to ask.

The book of Job's account of God's rebute ended with

and here shall your proud waves break

made me think about my own desires to rise above God's plans and to see to it that I get what I deserve. After all, I do deserve it, don't I?

I sense a calling to look at life through God's eyes. Is there a deeper purpose to being here, by myself at this moment? Where is God leading me in this journey? How do I let myself be led by Him?

Greetings frm Zurich

2009-06-08T00:13:00.003+08:00

I thought I shall post a short sharing with MSC...

Firstly, thanks for all your prayers and support. I'm very thankful that everything is well and good here and I'm settling in nicely over the last week. I attend at church called the English Speaking Roman Catholic Mission in St Anton's parish and it's really family-like. People know each other and are very friendly. Mainly an international community. I have not thought about joining a ministry and will need to spend some time in prayer to see where He would lead me.

Today's sermon was delivered by a very humorous and lively priest. He picked out a phrase in today's gospel reading

And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.

It was about being present to God and how to be present to Him. Moving to a new country, a new environment is very overwhelming. Sometimes I'm just swamped by the number of things to do, process, sign up, change etc... and it's hard to be still and be present to God. Today, the priest asked the congregation two questions:
1. Do you pray?
2. Where is God in your life?

Very simple but very essential questions. And how pertinent they are to me at this point in time. Work is just a number one priority to me now. I'm not here to play or enjoy my life... I feel that I've been so blessed and given such a big responsibility that to not give my best, would be to be such a cheater. So the expectations are high and the pressure I impose is what I'm accustomed to, but my faith always keeps me grounded to what are the most important things in my life and to not let them be taken over by work. Like my sense of belonging or my identity. Moreover, I sense God pushing me to rely on Him to manage my work, to give me ideas, and to glorify Him through my work, to be a good worker and also a compassionate and helpful co-worker.

So, just like to praise God for bringing me back to where I belong and challenging me to pray more over here. It is a struggle to pray, but like what Jesus promised, I don't have to struggle alone.

GB, and miss u guys!

Worship Him!

2009-05-30T16:36:00.001+08:00

When you express your love for God, it's called worship. One way you can express your love is by singing to him.

You've probably noticed that music and love go together because music comes from the heart. It's not something you do intellectually; it's something that comes out of your soul and your emotions.

And because of that there are many love songs in the world. It's also the reason more songs have been written about Jesus Christ than any other topic in the world. Nothing even comes in as a close second.

Christianity is a singing faith. Why? Because it's not about religion! It's about a love affair; it's about a relationship with God—God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you and He wants you to love Him back.

Nothing will make you more aware of God's love and God's presence in your life than singing and praising. I know you may be thinking, "But you don't understand. I can't sing." That's okay, because the Bible says, "Make a joyful noise" (Psalm 66:1 KJV). You can do that. When we go to football games or when somebody is getting married we make a joyful noise. So just let it out! You don't have to hit the right note; you just have to make a joyful noise.

Since you can sing anywhere, you can express your love of God anywhere. That means you can worship in the shower; you can worship when you're working in the garden; you can worship washing dishes; or you can worship driving to work.

How often do you sing your thanks and love to God? Daily? Regularly? Occasionally?

If you really think about what God has done in your life, you won't be able to help yourself. Your praise for God will burst forth and your worship will flow to God.
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

To all Adult Advisors and those involved in the Youths.

2009-05-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

The fountain of youth, according to egyptologists,is where one finds the water that brings immortality. Man's use of metaphors to describe eternity, and the great promises of happiness, seems embedded in the idea of youth, in the promises of young. Jesus said, "unless you become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." Amongst all the mysteries of faith and theology, the church has begun its exploration into the depths behind the mysteries of youth.

If a community is a place where youths come together to grow, then it is also the sanctuary behind which this mystery blossoms and evolves. For there is a congregation of the creative, the brilliant, the prayerful, the leader, the Mary, the Martha, the intellectual, the simple, all of which we cant do without. There is no one more important than the other. But individually, the community brings what st Irenaus calls, "the glory of God" when these persons are made "fully alive". And when all of us youths stand together, we find the words "there I will be in your midst" made real and visible- when a hand reaches out, when a shoulder is offered, when a quiet prayer is said about an anonymous person sick and alone, when one says "i am sorry" and another "me too", when one raises his palms in worship, when a hug is proferred, when the word is shared, when an affirmation is given, when a challenge is posed- all in all, where there is love.

The great mystery behind the youths lies behind the indefatigueable energy to respond to love- amidst the competing chaotic madness of society. What places the youths on the pedestals of all those seeking for somehting more is the simple innocence that some lose, and that others fight desperately to keep. The community of youths sometimes find that the only answer to the shackles of cynicism and chains of disillusionment, is an unceasing faith and a love that transcends human capacities. That is the power behind the actions of a friend i know, who in spite of his struggle with the pain of losing a relationship, continually takes on hte unenviable tasks of heading ministries and orgainizing events- a verse that reminds me of the confusion that Peter must have felt, and the trust in Jesus when he responded "where do we go, Lord, you alone have the message of eternal life".

Of course, one could say that i am painting too rosy a picture, blurring all the issues behind what each community faces. Yet, maybe that is the picture we must have in mind. It is from the Space station, the astronauts realise the green brown and blue that we call Earth, is something wonderfully pure and gentle inspite of what we might read these days on the internet. Sometimes a picture from afar is the picture we have always had, jsut somehow lost along the way. Are there problems? sure. But as a whole, as a collective identity we coin the "youths", can we ascend from them?

The late Pope John Paul decided to theme one of his World Youth Day messages on the verse "Do not be afraid". That is the answer to all of life's questions. Franklin Roosevelt said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. J K Rowling said we can live life without any mishappenings by living in a protective bubble-but that is a forfeit on life by default. Henry JM Nouwen said, "can a firemen rescue a child in a burning building without risking his life or himself getting burnt?" Courage is the answer- to living an authentic life, following God's call or to simply be vulnerable in sharing one's life.

Looking at the world these days, is it easy to fall into some sort of despair? Sure- its swine flu, genocide, wars, eonomic depression; its floods and famines. Looking at ourselves it is also easy to fall into despair- its unfinished assignments, obligations as a friends, obligations as a child, obligations as a sibling, its the guilt of falling into sin, its the helplessness of falling into habitual sin etc. There is much out there that tells us we are lost. But as the song in Casting Crowns go, "the Voice of Truth, tells me a different story...(it) says do not be afraid". The church has focused on you, the youths. Because it believes that is where the lights of truth and peace, of joy and hope, of ideals still longed for, only waiting to be glimpsed at, will be brought forth, echoing the words of our Lord, "i have come to give you life, and life to the fullest."

From the Philippines!

2009-05-13T11:36:00.001+08:00

Dear Raymond,

Greetings in the name of our loving Christ! How are you? Been some
time since I wrote. Pray that you and family are doing well. The
commuity is fine, we were out for mission outreach in the mountain
province from 20th Oct - 3 rd May. It went very well, Praise God.
Before that, we had a group of young people coming from Itugon and
Belwang, they stayed in our community from 14th- 19th April for LSS
(Life in the spirit seminar). They also experience living in
community and evangelisation in Burnharm Park, one of our outreach
programme which we held once a month..We were ivited by priests from
Belwang (4 days follow-up programme), Utocan (3 days Camp 30 plus
youths)) and Bontok (3 days LSS for 70 youths) in the mountain
province. We were very happy because the priests were very supportive,
We had a blessed time and God was touching many of the youths whom we
were ministering to. Now, we are back in community and this week-end a
team of us will go to Itugon 16th-18th May for a week-end programme
for about 40 youths. We have the blessing from Fr. Mark. The rest of
the community members will have community meeting on sat and sunday
morning they will sing for Mass (choiring) at St. Scholastica Convent.
After Mass they will have their bible assignments cos' they have to
present it in group, in the community, Besides that we are also
preparing for our Conference (1st Baguio Revival Conference) which
will be held on the 16th -18th Oct. That's it for now. Do take care
and know that you are in our prayers.

Winnie

Rick Warren is such a wise man i tell you!

2009-05-11T18:22:00.001+08:00

"Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think
that wealth brings true happiness! The more you have, the more people
come to help you spend it. So what good is wealth—except perhaps to
watch it slip through your fingers!" (Ecclesiastes 5:10-11 NLT)

When you spend more than you earn, you end up in tremendous stress.
The Bible says, "Stupid people spend their money as fast as they get
it" (Proverbs 21:20 TEV).

What motivates us to live beyond our means? Why do we spend ourselves
into debt? Why are we rarely satisfied with what we have?

There are three myths that drive us into debt:

MYTH: Having more things will make me happier.

FACT: "Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to
think that wealth brings true happiness!...So what good is
wealth—except perhaps to watch it slip through your fingers!"
(Ecclesiastes 5:10-11 NLT)

MYTH: Having more things will make me more important.

FACT: "Watch out and guard yourselves from every kind of greed;
because your true life is not made up of the things you own, no matter
how rich you may be" (Luke 12:15 TEV).

MYTH: Having more things will make me more secure.

FACT: "The Lord is like a strong tower, where the righteous can go and
be safe. Rich people, however, imagine that their wealth protects them
like high, strong walls around a city" (Proverbs 18:10-11 TEV).

When we buy into these myths, we always overspend. So, here's how to
enjoy life more on less:

• Find happiness in helping others. Jesus said, "There is more
happiness in giving than in receiving" (Acts 20:35 TEV). Just look
around you and you'll see this is true. The happiest people are those
who help the most, not those who have the most. Misers are always
miserable.

• Find self-worth by getting to know God. God says, "...you are
precious to me..." (Isaiah 43:4 TEV). You matter to God. He made you
for a purpose. Genuine self-esteem comes from establishing a
relationship with God and becoming all he meant for you to be.

• Find security in trusting God, not a bank balance. The Bible says,
"Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with
what you have. For God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never
abandon you'" (Hebrews 13:5 TEV). Real security must be found in
something that can never be taken from you. While there are many ways
to lose your possessions, Jesus said God will take care of you if you
trust Him.

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

DIRECTIONS TO HEAVEN

2009-04-26T00:45:00.003+08:00

First, make a right onto Believeth Boulevard. Keep going straight through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.

From there, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith, which is over troubled water. When you get off the bridge, make a right turn and keep going straight.You are on the Kings Highway - Heaven bound!

Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost then exit off onto Grace Boulevard. From there, make a right turn on Gospel Lane. Keep going straight and then make another right on Prayer Road.

As you go on your way, do not yield to the traffic on Temptation Avenue. Also, avoid Sin Street because it is a Dead End. Pass up Greed Avenue, Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Road and Backbiting Boulevard.

You have to go down Long-suffering Lane, Persecution Boulevard, and Trials and Tribulations Avenue. But that's okay, because Victory Boulevard is straight ahead! STAY THE COURSE.

:)

DeA's Inspirational Pages

Is being human just an excuse.

2009-04-23T00:12:00.009+08:00

We all remmeber last sunday's Gospel on Doubting Thomas. Recall that Thomas's said "unless i touch the wounds at his side, and the holes in his hand, i will not believe". And that was exactly what Jesus did. Clearly Jesus thought that the only way Thomas was to believe, for him to proclaim "my lord and my God", was to meet him where he struggled at- where, in our terms, he was most human.

Sometimes being human is seen as a way of respecting another; sometimes it is seen as more of an excuse to be readily accepting to lukewarm behaviour. I would argue that being human does not involve any form of lukewarm behaviour; it in fact demands us to move beyond what we ourselves are "humanly" bound by.

Being human involves not an identification of hostile differences, but a gentle awareness of uniqueness. And that is a crucial distinction. One generates tension, whilst another, true appreciation. I struggle with my priorities, especially with church commitments. Now for those who see this as a difference from what they themselves aspire towards, it can cause abit of tension. But seeing that for example, my priorities essentially lie in say school where there is some acceptance of my views, and where my interests are explored in other ways, give rise to an appreciation of who i am as a person. Thomas was not despised by the fact that he was the only one that "differed" by asking for proof, instead Jesus affirmed what was genuinely "unique" by being prsent to him in that manner that he requested.

Which brings me to my second point. Jesus then said "doubt no longer and believe". To err is human, is itself an erroneous statement. Jesus's assertation was to move beyond that which we were (doubt no longer), to where we should be(and believe). Now this is where community steps in. A matured community, acknowledges the responsiblity it is imposed with, to be the very source of movements. And hearts are moved when lives are shared, when real wounds are shown and uniqueness is embraced. That is the responsibility that Communtiy has- to be human. And being human, is not to generalize, in fact it is to particularise. That like a mosaic, the individuals can come together, for a great portrait to be painted and for a marvellous dance to be choreographed.

What about our falls and shortcomings? What about our temptations and our weaknesses? In my own failures, i realise that there is nothing more lonely than failure. Simply because it is something very specific and personal. Similarly with falls and temptations. It was Judas' greed and Peter's fear from which they fell in their own different ways. So is admitting that we are human, and that we fall, really something resembling an excuse? Perhaps. But seeing it as an excuse, is being deaf to a cry.It is a resignation that people are incapable of admitting failures genuinely. And that resignation arises from a deep restlessness to provide solution and solve human condisitons. Being human is not just for the ministered, it is also for the ministers!

What then are the implications? I can think of two. Humility and Patience- Virtues that we would adopt in the discovering of our unique, sacred identity that can only be take place in a nurturing environment. Personally, i discovered most of who i am (of course, in all humility, this discovery is not complete and wouldnt be for some time), in a few occasions where my volatile temper was received with a very patient and humble attitude, only eager to listen- and that allowed me to slowly understand that i am not so much different(by how views i didnt share were imposed on me), as i am unique (to what i am bestowed with by God, in an acknowledgement of who i am as a person). This allowed me then to be patient and humble with myself.

In conclusion, I hope i have achieved in providing some basic points for which we can reflect upon: what being human to myself; as a christian leader; and as a community really means. Also, virtues i identified that i hope paved the way to a communtiy that embraces an individual, to accept that it is 'I' that makes this community an irreplaceable and precious and loving one.

After Damascus

2009-04-18T16:18:00.007+08:00

Today I watched the film "St. Paul of Tarsus" at IHM, how Saul was marching toward Damascus to capture those spreading the words of Jesus, how he was struck down and blinded by Jesus who asked "Why do you persecute me?", how he was given clear instruction and visions that someone would come to heal him of his blindness and that he was to suffer greatly for the name of Jesus, and to be given the mission to spread the good news to the Gentiles. How he renewed the name his father gave him - Paul - and how he journeyed long distances, both physical and also of the imagination/will, going places beyond where even the first pope, Peter, did not see available at first. Paul saw how the grace of God came through Jesus, fought for how the Gentiles could not be subject to the same strict law such as circumcision like the Jews, how those traditions/cultures were their own crosses to bear, and to not impose them also on Gentiles. He saw himself to Rome even though it seemed like an impossible task. He saw how the crux of the message was to love thy neighbor as you would want yourself to be loved, and there was a moment when he spoke of Love in Corinth that moved me immensely in the film as it does and always should in the bible...

I think what it is is a balance between not taking things for granted, and constantly striving or feeling like there is a duty you need to perform, so instead of doing things out of love, you do it out of duty/chore... but then it's a journey, and I should not begrudge myself of the same journey i wish for others, that journey that always fulfills in spite of good or bad, nice or ugly, because it is God's journey for you, me, us, and there is a sense of purpose and mostly of calm. God knows the human heart, and He guides it, moderates it, keeps it, renews it, empowers it, enriches it, softens it, brings all together with his show of compassion.

For reflections on the film, Sr Theresa asked us to think about our Damascus moment, and who the Annais and Barrabas people are in our lives. The spelling might be wrong but essentially Annais brought the healing of God to Saul first when he was still a disbeliever by trusting the vision of God and following his 'instructions' however ludicrous it sounded. And Barrabas is the one who went with Paul where he preached during his early years, and bridged the gaps for him between the people Paul had once killed and persecuted, to now being a part of... Barrabas helped to ease Paul's way just as Annais was the spark to bring him into the faith... into "I believe".

It was just a great morning and just like to share this with all of you.

-serene

The washing of feet

2009-04-11T02:14:00.000+08:00

I was particularly touched during the washing of feet during yesterday's Maunday Thursday mass. The sight of Jesus, stooping low to bow down to his disciples and gently pouring water and washing the grime off their feet, then slowly drying them with his towel, the entire act of it simply reflected his humility and gentleness. I was so touched that I started crying and I pictured Jesus, washing my feet, washing my little feet when I was a young girl, right up till the little lady that am today.

It was just so moving for me as I pictured myself giggling and laughing as He gently washed my feet, and He too was smiling. And I just felt that, you know, as a child, I could not really understand His passion and what He was doing for me. And He did it for me willingly. And I was so willing to let Him wash my feet as a little girl, eager to sit on a chair and let Christ do what He was meant to do.

Fast forward 20 years, and I picture Jesus washing my feet again. But this time round, I was much more reluctant and unwilling to let Him wash my feet. I guess the thoughts that ran through my mind were,
"No, not my Jesus. You cannot do such a menial job for me."
"How can He do this? It is breaking the courtesies, the rules I was brought up with!"

But as I finally relented and pictured Christ washing away the dirt, the sand, the dust off my feet, as I felt His gentle fingers rubbing away at the sole of my feet and pouring water over it, I was able to see His message of humility, love, respect, gentleness and intimacy in the relationships that we have been called to. And I cried because of His love for me, His love for mankind.

"Jesus, our teacher and our Lord,
Stooped to wash the feet of His disciples,
And He told them this is an example,
Just as I have done, so you must do."

As the choir sang out this beautiful verse, I was really challenged to follow the example left behind by Christ. To never forget my call to love and serve with humility, gentleness and respect.

Mother and Son

2009-04-11T00:58:00.006+08:00

every year on Good Friday, i never fail to be amazed by how powerful the message of Jesus' death is.. today when the Cross is revealed during service, the truth suddenly gets louder, the crucified Jesus never looked sadder as if asking, "do you know what I have done for you?"

i don't deserve it
it is frustrating, that He has to go through so much for me, how can His love be so immense and me knowing that i cannot meet his expectations. i dont dare to be loved. if i were to be '客气' (polite) with him, i really just want to tell him "You really don't have to".

well anyway, aft service when i was walking home, i walked past a neighbour's car - a fiat! it occurred to me that Mary's first 'Fiat' (Thy will be done) is the go-ahead for the God's plan of redemption! and today though unwilling, Mary once again let Thy will be done and had to witness the pain and humiliation that her own flesh and blood had to suffer. she is powerless cos even with His wounds, Jesus is so powerful. i've read somewhere before that Jesus is at His strongest ministry at His weakest moment; he is able to attract more people, change more hearts! the scene in the Passion of Christ, Mother and Son shared the same sorrow, but Jesus reassures her "see, Mother, I make all things new"

i am so afraid to struggle again, to fall away from God again. In Jesus' Passion, Mother Mary felt all the pain and humiliation. i pray in my pain and humiliation, at work, home and community, that i be able to keep my eyes on Jesus and His Passion. so that in my childish pride, i can tell Jesus, "see, i help You make things new!"

darkness will pass...

v.

Who Am I At The Passion

2009-04-10T17:27:00.004+08:00

Today, the congregation was asked to ponder on the role each of us would have played if we were part of the passion of Christ. Will we be like the 3 Marys? John? The crowd or pilate. I was thinking about it on the way home. Of cos, none of us will want to be part of the crowd, to denounce our king, and many of us will try not to be like Pilate who was afraid of standing up for Jesus. After pondering, i realize that there are many times in life when I was like Pilate, afraid of doing what is right, and sometimes i am part of the crowd, condemning ppl around me.

Today i reminded myself to be early for mass, dress up in my sunday best, to commit this time to take part in the dying and rising of our lord.

I was on the bus to church when it started to rain. It was so heavy i knew i was going to be drenched if i walk to church from cardiff grove. So i called a number of ppl, hoping to hitch a ride to church, but no one was able to pick me up.

So at that pt of time, i had two options
1) to wait for the rain to stop, and miss part of the service
2) walk in the rain and go to church drenched.

I really wanted to meet the lord, so i was thinking,' maybe i will be lucky and will be able to hitch a ride from one of the parishioners to church!! surely ppl will know i will be going to church, since i am all dressed up, and Father always preach about charity! ' Being full of hope, i started my walk in the rain.

I was gettting soaked from top to bottom. Many cars passed, yes they all noticed me, yes all the kids were telling their parents i was soaked from top to bottom, but nobody stopped to offer a lift. even when i was at the back gate, when many were coming out of their cars with their umbrellas, no one offered to shelter me. W. Yes i was soaked from top to bottom! but i just want to hear the word of God. I must admit i was feeling a sense of jubilation when i reached church. Its like i have crossed the oceans to be with my loving God.

When i finally reached church, everyone was staring at me with a disapprovin look. I felt dejected. After all i have done just to get to church, surely someone will emphatise with me and passed me a tissue or sth. i really wanted to dig a hole in the ground, ashamed of myself. standing behind the congregation, i felt like a cockroach everyone was keeping away from. then a little voice came into my head telling me,' this is how i felt at the garden of Gethsemane...'
and a verse from John 15.18'If the world hates you, remember it hated me before hating you.'

tracing my memory back a little, i remembered a few days ago at mass, i was asking the lord to teach me how to pray with him at the garden, how He felt when after all He has done, He was going to die in our hands. I really believe that my prayer was granted. thats the reason why i had to be caught in the rain, going to church feeling cold and miserable. The wonder the saying,' be careful what you wish for!'

There is no word to describe how i felt at that pt in time... dejected, unappreciated by the world. Jesus must have felt 1000 times worse. Yet He continued on with the passion. He continued on with the passion for me.

during today's service, His love became very real to me.

And i thank you for this experience which will stay with me.

Steven David

The Blood Of Christ

2009-04-09T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hi friends,

1st of all, i will like to apologise for my absense. I had to go down to marine parade to collect notes for my class this sat, and being lazy, cos i really hate to travel, and i may go to church angry cos of the distance i travelled, i decided to go for mass at holy fam instead.

This week was a week of ephipany for me. i was really intriqued with holy week after Kenny's teaching on sunday... and i told myself that i will not just let this holy week pass me by.

I went for mass at olps on mon. The priest preached about giving our best to Jesus. I went to mass in sandals and bums, how embarrassed I felt !! i was so embarrassed till i couldn't bring myself to receive communion.

So on monday i learned that even if it is a weekday mass, we should refrain from wearing sandals and bums to church.

On tues and wed, i was caught in a situation where I had to ponder over to work on sat or to give the weekend to God. the pay was too good for me to refuse, and i will be in time for mass, so i thought.

I kept thinking of the situation judas was in, when he exchanged Jesus for just 30 Denarlis. Putting my situation into perspective, it looks like i will rather work cos of this job which pays well. it looks like iam looking forward to the weekend instead of dying and rising with Jesus.

I was really uneasy about my decision making, bout judgement and ppl's reaction to me. but i won't forget that i kept my promise during AGM this yr that I will be transparent to the community about my life. So i am ready for any backlash from anybody for the decision i made.

Today at mass, i was reminded of the importance of charity. do you remember that on sunday, we were all puzzled why the reading is from St John? well this is cos st john did not record anything about the passover feast, but narrate about Jesus being the lamb sacrificed for all of us. The blood of Christ was sacrificed for all of us. St John records about the washing of feet, and when Peter did not want to take part in it, Jesus replied it was only through washing of feet that he becomes one of us.

I was pondering over what jesus meant when He said it is only through washing of feet that He becomes one of us. I remembered back in primary sch, for 6 years i watched the priest wash my friends' feet, and the homily was always about service, service and service to others. My initial thought then, was,' oh... the homily is in line with the school motto' which is serving others before self.' However after hearing today's homily, I digest the 'tough' fact that we are called to serve one another. Yes i feel it is tough for me...

The eucharist we receive, is a reminder of the service we have to bring to each other. Some ppl go for daily mass, receive the eucharist everyday. However, that is not only what Jesus wants, we are reminded that we are called to be the salt of the earth.

Have a great holy week.:)

Steven

50th Years of SFX

2009-04-07T14:07:00.001+08:00

Hi Friends,

Praise God, our church is 50 years old and "growing" strong!

You might consider praying this prayer in remembrance of our great saint.

NOVENA OF GRACE IN HONOUR OF ST FRANCIS XAVIER

O Most Lovable and loving saint, in union with thee I adore the divine Majesty.The remembrance of the favours with which God blessed thee during life and of thy glory after death, fills me with joy ; and I unite with thee in offering to him my humble tribute of thanksgiving and of praise. I implore thee to secure for me through thy powerful intercession, the inestimable blessing of living and dying in the state of grace. I also beseech thee to obtain the favour I ask in this novena (Make your petition). But if what I ask is not for the glory of God, or for the good of my soul, do thou obtain for me what is most conducive to both. Amen

Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

My moment to shine

2009-04-05T01:50:00.002+08:00

For those of you who don't know, I will be away from community for a while. I have just been awarded a grant to do my PhD in Zurich, Switzerland and will be away for 3 years.

Chasing our dreams and pursuing our goals come at a cost. And in this case, there is a sacrifice, a sacrifice of time spent with loved ones. My family, friends and my beloved parish community. Well, it's not like I won't be back, definitely will be dropping by Singapore rather frequently... but it won't be the same either.

Amidst all the paperwork, preparation and reading I have to do for this position in Zurich, I am a little out of touch with my feelings... honestly, I am a lil scared to pause and ponder about what is to come.

I am going Zurich.
Starting a PhD with a lab full of brilliant people.
Be part of an institute where Einstein used to be.
Work on a topic which I always wanted to dabble in.
Live on my own.
Publish in journals I can only dream of.

Now is my moment to shine.

And I am paralysed at that thought. Expectations always kill. They are the demons I must tame. Am I good enough? Am I really good enough?

the answer is... I don't think so. But if God has led me this far, I know that He will keep providing for the way. And it is solely by the grace of God that I have this moment to shine.

And as I look back, I think, everything happens for a reason. Everything happens in its time. Then I question, what does God want me to do after I get my PhD? What is my calling? What is my purpose? What is my destiny in life? Will I fall in love? Will I live and work for social justice and peace? (maybe I watch too much Matrix shows)

There are many questions, but I believe God answers them in His time. In His time, He gently reveals the truth in our lives.

****************

Pray for me friends that I may walk this path, hand in hand with Jesus and be humble of heart.

****************

As Holy Week approaches, just like to share these three quotes on forgiveness which really touched my heart last Sunday (thanks to Justin Kong from LOG). It moved me to put someone's name down on a piece of paper and to sincerely commit to forgiving this person in my life. I felt so much happier after that.

"Forgiveness allows us to let go of the pain in the memory and if we let go of the pain in the memory we can have the memory but it does not control us. When memory controls us we are then the puppets of the past."
Alexandra Asseily, author of "The Garden of Forgiveness in Beirut"

"In this life. . . we are unable to forget whatever remains unforgiven. So, if we won't let go of some pain - whose time has now past - then who is to blame for the weight of this burden still being carried on our back?"
Guy Finley

"There are those who will tell you why it is wise to never forget the pain of the past. . . but if you look closely at the anger, sorrow, and bitterness that has hardened their faces, then you will also see why learning to forgive is the better of the two paths."
Guy Finley

Be a People-Builder

2009-03-16T18:05:00.001+08:00

"In response to all he has done for us, let us outdo each other in being helpful and kind to each other and in doing good" (Hebrews 10:24 TLB).

There's a price tag for being a people-builder: It requires unselfishness.

Why should we do it then? Because the Bible tells us to "Outdo each other in being helpful and kind to each other and in doing good" (Hebrews 10:24 TLB).

At some point, the Romans confuse the word cristos with the word crestos. Cristos means Christ; Crestos, in Latin, means kindness. In a roundabout way, that confusion can teach us something: Christians should be the kindest of all people.

I want to give you an objective: to be a people-builder for the rest of your life. Begin by writing down the name of one person you want to help build up, then stop and pray.

Ask God to show you that person's strengths. We always build on our strengths, not on our weaknesses. Write down whatever strengths you've seen in him or her in the past.

Then tell him or her, "I've been thinking about you because I really care about you. I wanted to share with you—from my viewpoint—the strengths I see in your life, because those strengths determine what God wants us to do in our lives."

Imagine the impact you could have if you would commit yourself to being a people-builder, if you determined to bring out the best in everyone within your congregation. That's one of the purposes of the church: to help people to grow and to become what God made them to be.

Fwd: March 13, 2009 - Jesus Gave Honest Counsel - Daily Devotional

2009-03-13T19:31:00.001+08:00

something we need to practice and learn while being in community...

March 13, 2009

Jesus Gave Honest Counsel

by Rick Warren

In our Devotionals series, Pastor Rick Warren discusses the Bible passages that inspire him the most. Today's Devotional is based on this passage:

"A friend means well even when he hurts you" (Proverbs 27:6 GN).

Jesus shows us that real friends care enough to confront. Even when it's painful, they'll tell you the truth (Proverbs 27:6 GN). They won't let you waste your life in silence.

I've found that correcting another is powerful—and it can be dangerous. Done the right way, it builds people up, but done the wrong way, it can scar a person for life.

The difference between the right and the wrong way to correct is your attitude. If all you're doing is pointing out faults, then stop. The purpose has to be to correct, not to condemn.

You need to ask, "What's my motive in this? Am I correcting him for my benefit or for his benefit?"

A lot of times we want to correct people just because they're being jerks and they're hassling us. We think, "If they would stop being such a jerk, my life would be easier."

That's the wrong motive.

Instead, follow Ephesians 4:15, which says, "Speak the truth in love." Love means giving people what they need rather than what they deserve.

So this is the key to proper correction: Affirm the person; then correct the behavior.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church.

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--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Celebrating life. A birthday celebration.

2009-03-08T22:22:00.002+08:00

Sunday we celebrated my sister's birthday. It was a belated one. We talked about changing the car. We talked about having one that is red-licensed: a weekend car. Talking about getting a weekend car, we considered how often we used the car for family get togethers anyway. Which sparked off this reflection which i will share below:

Across the years, birthday celebrations lose its initial sparks and surprises. We anticipate the cake and we'll do fine without it anyway. I would argue that we should keep birthdays by all means. We take all the time in the world and muster all that energy to prove each other wrong, to pick a fight and rub salt on that wounds. Then, in our daily affairs, we channel our concentration to finish the project, complete the assignment or please that client. Birthday is that one day we set aside to be nicer, a bit more patient, a bit more loving. Where we say, "i'll make today specially for you".

Celebrating life is never an easy thing. Today's society is one that is pragmatic and competitive. We strive to do better and we benchmark ourselves against the best. And by very implication, we simply are never doing good enough. Ronald Rolhesier said that having an ego is necessary because it is another way of recognising our God-bestowed dignity. We lose that dignity when all we see are the failures and inadequacies. Celebrating life involves recognising the very unique person that is always good enough in the eyes of God. When you look through the eyes of others, celebration becomes impossible!

But it also becomes necessary precisely because of that! There is nothing so liberating as taking the time to laugh at yourself, to pamper yourself with that cake you would usually just look at, and most importantly, to be in the presence of your loved ones.Sometimes all that birthday celebration makes you do is to catch up. Now let's think about those 2 words. Catching up are 2 mundane words with extraordinary meanings. We take on the rat race sometimes, and life has got a pace on its own. Sometimes we slow down and others get to trod along. Sometimes we quicken and we get to meet people where they are.
But at that moment, when two lives meet, when two siblings stop their lives just for that instance, over a belated birthday celebration, without plan or agenda, as if it was pre-determined that that particular moment was carved for both of them and no other, catching up are two words infused with a sense of belonging. Catching up, at that particular moment, feels synonymous, with coming home.

God places such moments in our lives. What for? well, to rejoice.St paul asks in Phl 4:17, "Rejoice in the lord always...rejoice and may everyone exdperience your gentle and understanding heart... Then the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus".

Celebrations mark great events. They mark the end of crises and losses- "and finding (her lost silver coin), the woman whent to call her friends and said, 'celebrate with me for i have found the silver coin i lost!'"; they signal the end of fear and the beginning of hope- "Rejoice, O people of Israel! Sing joyfully with all your heart, daughter of Jerusalem! ...Yahweh...has driven your enemies away (and) is with you."
Birthday celebrations say 24 years ago, today, God brought you into this world, and along the way you became a part of my life. Today, i mark that incredibly great event.

Letter to SPH

2009-03-05T16:29:00.001+08:00

hi friends, i am sure some of you read the sunday times last week. The columnist was was writing after he read the latest report handed to Vatican by a Jesuit priest regarding the 7 mortal sins.

This is what my friend, Samantha, had to say after reading the column. Her response will be published in the Straits Times on this saturday! so you are reading it ahead of time, awesome!

Dear SPH and Ignatius,

I write in response to "Damned if I do – or don't" by Ignatius Low. I am very perturbed by how our society today has become so self-interpretative, so subjective, with everyone having a "to each his own" mentality such that we live by our own standards, whatever suits our comfort. I am even more appalled by the parochialism brought forth in this article, the perceived sarcasms and the lack of foresight and profound thought.

The writer states his real objection to the seven deadly sins is that it "just doesn't jive with (his) own moral code" as he defines a sin to be one if it hurts others or has a bad impact. My questions in advertence would be so what exactly are your moral standards? Standards which shift every now and then, depending on the various factors of the situation involved? What forms of measurement do you take upon making a decision to ensure it's a good one at that point in time? How about actions and consequences which hurt oneself unconsciously, would that be considered sinful? Simply said, is there a more fundamental objective basis to one's moral code?

You know, we can categorise ourselves as consequentialists, deontologists, but at the end of the day, it ultimately boils down to the fact that we are all humans. Human beings. We can keep coming up with new words to define and redefine new sins of today's world; sin of hypocrisy and prejudice… This list will and is bound to go on, but really what is the underlying meaning of all this? My views here are not on the seven deadly sins per say, but rather on the crux behind this whole discussion – the sheer lack of self thought, self reflection and inner transcendence. Have we grown too quick to put the blame on others or on circumstances when things don't go the way we plan and like it to? Have we become selective to the point that we choose what we want to hear, so long as it satisfies our so called conscience and does not make us feel uneasy?

I reckon the greatest mistake we're making is that we fail to seek the Truth; we fear knowing and understanding the Truth because when we do, it is highly likely that we will need to follow it.

What is the Truth you may ask? I have no definite answer for I too, am in the search for it. But one thing I'm sure, this spiritual poverty of ours (and by spiritual, I do not mean religious), the inability to reason with our entire being, to be completely integrated and in tuned to our emotions, our senses, our head and our will, will be the main cause of the problems to come. For the times we become lazy to think, to reason, to question, for the times we simply choose to give in and follow our peers, our surrounding voices for it seems like the easier way out, for the times we fail to stand up for the firm values we believe in – Overtime, slowly but surely, we only short change ourselves of the inner desire to seek true happiness in life.

As Dr Lee Wei Ling puts it aptly, "When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it? We know which the correct choice is - and it is within our power to make that choice. In this New Year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely. To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly."

All in all, these are just my two cents worth so thank you for reading.
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt with, just how we play the hands"; may we not be blinded by our own selfish desires and gradually understand the greater meaning in life.

Peace,
Samantha Ng

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Lent writing

2009-03-03T13:57:00.005+08:00

something I wrote up as a note on FB, posted here on Raymond's suggestion:

Picture by a friend, depicting how we're emptying ourselves, waiting for Christ to come! :p ok childish.

These past 3 days have been tumultuous - but also a fertile period for calibrating toward Lent. (I know I should have done this earlier, but the fact is I didn't, so.)

On Sunday, Fr Brian gave a homily about Lent and the 7 deadly sins. It made me think about myself and the need for inward transformation. What can I offer up in penitence and for transformation to God this Lent? How should I relate to Him who is an all-powerful Father, a loving Friend and a Spirit who makes all things happen?

7 Deadly Sins (+ Virtue it sins against):
Pride + Humility
Greed + Generosity
Envy + Love
Anger + Kindness
Lust + Self-Control
Gluttony + Faith & Temperance
Sloth + Zeal

Gluttony & sloth are the two I am willing myself to work on this Lent. Or rather, perhaps the discipline of waking up early and eating less will increase my capacity for faith & temperance, and zeal for work (studies, writing, making & keeping appointments).

What does surrendering to God mean? Is it more important to believe that you are doing so, or to receive affirmations from others that you are doing so? Why is it so scary for me to share my thoughts, feelings, life with others?

There is a part of me that wishes he could know. Another part of me that wishes I could tell him all that I know and see - the coherence & surrender so wanting in his life, those times when laughter hurts, when dishonesty separates, and words and actions are not aligned... But I am not perfect either, although I so strive, and we are ultimately beings under a greater one.

God made it such that He is the only all-knowing, all-powerful and ever-living God. And for being such I must trust in Him, take things in His time, with His will and in His grace. And as he rightly did say, with all things I should count as blessings from God, and take as expressions of His infinite & unfathomable love for me.

... what are your ideas about Lent? the things you've 'decided' to do (to be) during Lent for God, for yourself?

SFG

ICPE sharing on Community

2009-02-26T09:15:00.001+08:00

Hi friends!

ICPE's sharing on community last sunday was awesome. I was particularly touched by what Esther said. I think its because she has more than 20 years of experiencing community living so she is the guru! After sharing these points with my cell group on Tuesday, I began to internalise my thoughts and i realised how much "community" you experience is really dependent on you! Yes You! You are the only one who can make a difference. Hear me out.

To experience community living, you have to:

1. Think not what I can receive from the community, but how i can contribute. If everyone thinks about receiving, then obviously no one is going to receive because no one is giving! But if everyone thinks about giving, then everyone receives because you cant give to nothing! you give to someone! Awesome!

2. Be vulnerable. The times when I feel so blessed to be in community is when i chose to overcome my fears and to be vulnerable. I removed my mask, and as Cheryl Anne shared so beautifully on Tues, we stand naked in front of our brothers and sisters, just like Adam and Eve, and we say: This is who I am, do you still love and accept me? The answer is obvious.

3. Be committed. We did not choose our community members. God did, just as he did with our families. When we are angry with our family members, do we just disown them and ignore them forever? No, because we know we are FAMILY. And I think once we are committed to each other in community, we realise that we might quarrel, but we make up because we have to and we want to. Over the past few weeks, I have been so angry with some people from community and in that moment of anger, I just cannot imagine working with them! If they were ordinary friends, I would have have opted to end the friendship. But because we are community, I am committed to ask for forgiveness and accept apologies.

4. Forgive. All of us come from very different backgrounds. (We fold our socks differently, amen?) And hence, we hurt each other unconsciously! (If you dont want to be hurt, stay in your room) What we say might have been interpreted wrongly, and therefore we need to communicate. Brother needs to say to sister that he is hurt by what she said. Most of the time, it is just different perception, and the problem is solved! Also, because we hurt each other, mostly unconsciously, we need to learn to say: I am Sorry. Forgive me. Remember, hurting another will happen, therefore forgiveness is pertinent.

5. Build a relationship with every single member of the community. I fall into this trap of just talking and laughing with members of the community whom i just share so much common interest. But I really do have to make the effort to get to know everyone.

Praise God. I suddenly feel like Rick Warren haha!

And to end this off, please challenge me to my lent resolutions!

1. check facebook only once in the morning!

2. be nicer in words~ hehe

--
God Bless,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Happenings in our lovely Archdiocese!

2009-02-26T08:53:00.001+08:00

Hi friends,

Daniel who works for Catholics News has volunteered to email all those on the facebook group: catholics in singapore, with weekly updates on all the happenings in the church! God bless him!

So this is the announcements for this week. Should you be interested in such updates, please join the group.

Dear members of the Catholics in Singapore Facebook group,

Here are the upcoming events that are taking place in our archdiocese in the next four weeks. Please visit the given link to obtain more information and contact details.

If you have an event to announce on the Catholics in Singapore Facebook group, particularly if it is targeted at youth and young adults, drop me a message with the details.
______________________

- EVENTS -

Feb 27: A New Beginning: How to Manage Joblessness
If you know someone who is currently jobless due to retrenchment or retirement, please invite them to attend this one-day workshop covering the changes in the lives of are trying to manage joblessness and move on from there. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=128512880724

Mar 7: Theology of the Body for Beginners
The Indonesian Catholic Charismatic Community is hosting Andrew Kong to give a one-day workshop on Pope John Paul II's sexual revolution - Theology of the Body. It will be held at Blessed Sacrament Church from 8.30am to 3.30pm. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=49172109791

Mar 7: Commitment To Community
Living Stones Campus Outreach invites all young adults, university, and polytechnic students to find out what makes or breaks a community at 3 Saturday talks held in March. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=53688093895

Mar 8: St Francis Xavier Major Seminary Open House
The St Francis Major Seminary will hold its first open house on 8 Mar and the second on 25 Oct. There will be a guided tour and video presentation. You can learn more about the seminary and its formation. Light refreshment will be served after the guided tour. If you intend to go for the first open house please reply to the organizers by Feb 28. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=65080130824

Mar 13: Pope Benedict XVI on Christianity and World Religions
The Apostolate for Catholic Truth is having a study circle over 4 monthly sessions. The first one is over already, but there are three more sessions remaining on Relativism, The Central Problem of Faith Today (13 Mar), Interreligious Dialogue and Jewish-Christian Relations (17 Apr), Dominus Iesus on the Unicity and the Salvific Universality of Jesus and the Church (8 May). For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=58759450873

Mar 14: Media Literacy Part B - Reel Faith
Learn to appreciate film better through attending this 3-session workshop aimed at catechists, youth leaders, priests, seminarians, religious, teachers, parents, guardians, youth, teens, and film buffs who seek more than entertainment from films. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=49988287449

Mar 21: Spirituality of Youth Ministry Workshop
The Youth Ministry Office invites all youth coordinators and catechists to this workshop by Sr Christina Yeo, FDCC. The theme is on Balancing the 'doing' and the 'being'. It will be held from 10am-3pm at 2 Lorong Low Koon. For more information, please call 62852571 or visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=63010494273

- ANNOUNCEMENTS -

New FB group: About Lent
Jeremy Johnathan Wong has created a Facebook group for Catholics to share your awareness and personal experiences about Lent. He would like to invite all Catholics in Singapore to join the group and share your experiences. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=50980488634

Paul The Musical Seeks Your Participation!
The production team at St. Mary of the Angels is producing a musical on Paul to commemorate the Year of St. Paul, and they seek your participation! Experienced and/or budding talents in the areas of wardrobe, set building, props building, stage hands, photographers and videographers, and publications are needed. For more information, please visit:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=52763513140
_____________________

This weekly announcement is sent out on Mondays.

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

On to relationships in community

2009-02-20T21:25:00.006+08:00

Identifying with another is by far one of the hardest things to do. It involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes, and that is close to impossible if you cant take yourself out of your own.

Pope John Paul, in the Theology of the body, asks whether the body is constructed in such a way that it responds to sexual desires, or whether sexual desires are in a way a response to the body. This goes into the core of manhood and womanhood, who we are as persons. Thinking about this, i would argue that our very personhood can be discovered from our biological construct. Very simply, our senses give us a clue to what true relationships are about. It is about connecting. And connecting at a deeper level, is what community must strive towards.

There is the warmth and gentility of an embrace, the look of encouragement or sympathy, the sound of prayers, the taste of a meal shared etc. We are made to belong. It starts with being born into a family and engaged with the friends that come along. "life is a series of rooms, what matters is what you do with the person whom you're trapped in with".

And true belonging with another heals and empowers. Jesus used nothing but his touch and spittle to cure the eyes of the blind man. "Can you see anything?" Jesus asked; the blind man's vision was recovering and on the second laying of hands, he could see perfectly. We heal by feeling with another. That is the miracle of our personhood. Jean Varnier of L'Arche wrote in his book Community and Growth, and testified to the loneliness and inner chaos a child who suffers from severe autism, or the blind and deaf goes through. Through the basic forms of touch, is a gentle love communicated. A genuine cry illicits a genuine response, and the birds of the air come to the Mustard Tree, because they know it is a safe shelter to belong.

Inner liberation comes from an environment of acceptance, of genuine care and concern. Words oft-cited loses its meaning after a while. So lets ask ourselves what genuine care and concern really is. As i mentioned at agm, it is about being human to "expectations". These seeming inhuman standards that we subject everyone by, is nothing but a human cry to be listened to, or to be felt with. No one complains without a reason. All reason stems from some sort of human need. Particularly, in community, it stems from some need to be either understood, felt with or just be heard. The solutions, as we all know in our own way, is not simple. It involves humility. Something i struggle constantly with.

We ask too often for a person to get up and walk on his own, take the initiative, "if you really want it why dont you do it?" I do that as well, rather than ask someone do it, why dont we ourselves get the ball rolling? Yet think about it! Listen more intently and we'll hear the inadequacies and the failings. Rather than delegating, what about empowering? Rather than 'get up and walk', how about 'why dont you walk with me?" A community that grows is one that enables. The empowered empowers. Positivity is influential and growth is infectious. And sometimes all that "nudge" really is, is the presence of a friend. Zacchaeus felt unworthy as a tax collector, so he stood on a tree and watched from afar. Jesus responded by asking whether he could stay at his place.

There is a call to community. Community also has to respond to a call. The call to grant each person his or her personhood.

Prasie and Worship slides

2009-02-19T14:51:00.002+08:00

Hi friends, I am thinking of compiling images and making it into a resource for ministry. I like using beautiful pictures and images during P and W as it enhances the mood and captures the attention of others. Although you can argue on the spirituality of things etc.. I find visuals and Godly images help elevate our being with God. What do you guys think? If keen, send me your pictures and slides so that it will be a resource that can be shared or made available on the web for all who are preparing presentation slides for sessions. We can also think BIG and share our resources with the youths in our parish, other parishes, even people outta Singapore! :)

In the Secret ... Who do you say I am

2009-02-19T08:50:00.002+08:00

Dear Friends in Christ,

Just would like to take this opportunity to share some thoughts with you. A few days ago, a group of friends met up and we were sharing something about faith. Ironically, there were many occasions over the past two years or so, i have been greatly challenged in my walk with Jesus. A number of people have shared that, especially in the seminary, there were times where philosophy and theology may shake your faith. These two years, my faith have been challenged and tested especially after the many miraculous stories with my renal transplantation. There were many experiences of the love of God during my transplantation where i see many miracles happening during that course of two to three months, where Christ was so real in my life. But things took a turn towards the end of the year and the beginning of the following year, where my faith was really tested, and there were many questions arising from my heart; and these were questions that i have never thought before. In fact, there were many times where I felt that I will be i was so confident that i will fall so easily, because of my great faith in HIm, but as some time passes throughout the course of the last two years or so, i have been tested like silver in fire, and mind you it was really painful. These questions were really painful and there were times i felt like giving up on my faith. But deep down in my heart, there was this voice that remind me of His Love for me, "To whom shall I go, you have the words of Eternal Life" If not for these words, I could have probably given up on Him completely.

But I praise and thank God for teaching me how to surrender, and it is in my surrendering that I beginning to experience His Love for me again. And over the past two days, i have this greater desire to search deeper of His True Identity as the Son of God. And, over the past two days, as i picked my free iPod given by SingTel, i started listening to a favorite song of mine, "In the Secret...". (See lyrics below). It is in this song that I told the Lord Himself that, this is my prayer to You Lord … and I have been using this song for my prayer over the past two mornings. I thank God that I am able to take up the courage to search His True Identity once again … praise be to God.

And as I was listening to this song this morning, the thought that came to me was “Who do you say I am?” And lo and behold, as I entered into the office, reading my daily Scripture, I found out that the Gospel for the day was on this. To me, it was a call for me to search His Identity more .. to know Him more so that I can cast my trust and love for Him. Praise be to God.

Oh yes, what i notice in my walk with Him of late was that i notice that i beginning to start my evangelistic zeal after a long period of time. I beginning to share the testimony of my faith with Him again, how He has been the source of my life. And thank God for the gift of Jaclyn for she has taught me the gift of life and the gift of life that God has given to each and everyone of us are precious and we should treasure what He has already bestowed on us ... Alleluia.

Lyrics for “In the Secret” by Chris Tomlin

In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there.
In the secret, in the quiet hour I wait,
Only for You,'cause I want to know You more;

I want to know You,
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more.
I want to touch You,
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more.

I am reaching for the highest goal,
then I might receive the prize.
Pressing onward, pushing every hindrance aside,
Out of my way, 'cause I want to know you more

I want to know You,
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more.
I want to touch You,
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more.

I want to know You,
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more.
I want to touch You,
I want to see Your face

I want to know You more.
In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there

Now Jesus and his disciples set out for the villages of Caesarea Philippi. Along the way he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that I am?" They said in reply, "John the Baptist, others Elijah, still others one of the prophets." And he asked them, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter said to him in reply, "You are the Messiah." Then he warned them not to tell anyone about him. He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and rise after three days. He spoke this openly. Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. At this he turned around and, looking at his disciples, rebuked Peter and said, "Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do."

Faith like a Mustard Seed

2009-02-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

[The boy's father said,] "... If you can do anything, do it. Have a heart and help us!" Jesus said, "If? There are no 'ifs' among believers. Anything can happen." No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, "Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!"
Mark 9:22-24 (MSG)
*** *** *** ***
Is it possible to be filled with faith and doubt at the same time? Yes!
You can have faith that God wants you to do something and still be scared to death. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is going ahead and doing what you're called to do in spite of your fear.
You have to begin with the faith you already have: it may be just a little, but you start there. A beautiful example of this is the story of the man who brought his sick son to Jesus in Mark 9. Jesus looked at the man and said, "I can heal your son. If you will believe, I will heal him."
The father then makes a classic statement: "Lord, I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief."
Have you ever felt like that? "Lord, I have some faith. But I also have some doubts." This man was filled with faith and doubt, yet despite his honest doubts, he went ahead and asked Jesus for a miracle. And he got his miracle – Jesus healed his son.
Mustard seed faith moves mountains. No matter how weak or how frail you think your faith is, it's enough to get you through what you're facing because your "little faith" is in a big God.
Matthew 17:20 says, "If you have faith as small as the mustard seed, nothing will be impossible to you." That's not a lot of faith; in fact, it's just a little faith. But what else does that verse teach? "If you have faith as the mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, 'Move' and it will be moved."
Mustard seed faith moves mountains. Don't get this reversed; we tend to read this verse backward; we want it to say, "If you have faith like a mountain, you can move a mustard seed" – as if it takes enormous faith to do a very little task.
Everybody has faith. You had faith this morning when you ate your cereal – faith that your spouse didn't put poison in your granola!
You had faith when you sat down in your computer chair – faith that it wouldn't collapse.
Everybody has faith; the difference is what you put your faith in.
Sometimes people will tell me they don't want to surrender to Jesus until all their questions are answered; they don't want to make a commitment until every thing is understand.
God wants you start with the faith you have; and based on the example of the mustard seed, you don't need a whole lot of faith to do great things for God. You just need a little.
So here's a trustworthy equation:
Little Faith + Big God = Huge Results!
· You take your little faith; "Lord, I believe! Help me with my unbelief!"
· And you place your faith in our big God,
· And then he'll show you how he works out huge results.

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Praise God for a time of bonding

2009-02-09T17:47:00.001+08:00

Praise God.

We ate good BBQ food, we played with fireworks, we visited kelongs on boats, we played mahjong and boardgames, we tried to sing KaraOK, we took poser shots, we had praise and worship, we prayed for each other, we shared, we were patient despite the delays. And we stayed in KUKUP VENICE RESORT, yes that was the name of the resort. awesome stuff. the toilet esp is fantastic!

Praise God for MSC. AWESOME!

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

THIS IS TOO COOL

2009-02-06T17:59:00.001+08:00

This is so cool i have post twice!!! AWESOME>>> kukup here we come!

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

awesome stuff

2009-02-06T17:57:00.001+08:00

You wont believe this! This post is posted to the blog immediately if you email it to:

mustardseedcommunity.lovesjesus@blogger.com

how cool is that! praise god for technology! And for the use of technology to spread the good news! More people today than anytime in history know about JESUS! awesome.

Also, praise god, Daniel Tay (whom i havent met) wrote to me and i made him an admin on the facebook group: catholics in singapore. and since he works for the catholic news, he knows of all the workshops retreats etc and he dilligently sends invites on facebook! AWESOME right?

really looking forward to this weekend of getting to know community members better. Its in times of bonding that we know each other, thus enabling us to serve better. PRaise god!

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

--
Best Regards,
Raymond Theodore Raphael

Alpha

2009-02-04T16:53:00.005+08:00

Hi folks,

yay!!! :)) In case you are unaware, the Alpha program at IHM is starting tomorrow and saw 12 new late registrations yesterday. WOW!!! We were all worried because we only had a handful in Dec, but now it looks to be the biggest crop of non-Catholics ever. PRAY FOR US! Miss u and have a good trip to Kukup!

The Potential of a Child

2009-01-29T16:19:00.001+08:00

www.catholicvote.com

To grow spiritually, you need a community.

2009-01-12T19:48:00.002+08:00

I have always known this in my heart. But now that i hear it from a spiritual guru, i am all the more affirmed.

Spiritual Growth Is Not a Private Matter
by Rick Warren

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***
Some of us hesitate to commit ourselves to developing an intentional plan of growth that requires accountability or relationship with others because we believe spiritual growth is a personal and private matter. We choose to believe each person develops in his or her own way at his or her own rate.
This is an aberration from the truth.The idolatry of individualism has influenced even the way we think about spiritual growth.So much of the teaching on spiritual formation is self-centered and self-focused without any reference to our relationship to other Christians.
This is completely unbiblical and ignores much of the New Testament. The truth is that Christians need relationships to grow. We don’t grow in isolation from others. We develop in the context of fellowship.
Over and over again in the New Testament we find this basic truth: Believers need relationships with each other to grow! Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another …” (NIV).
God intends for us to grow up in a family.

Raymond Theodore Raphael

Just another retreat-ant's reflections

2009-01-12T16:55:00.004+08:00

Hi folks, just some reflections I wrote up for the retreat many of us went for last weekend. For me it was VERY GOOD, and wanna thank Cheryl & the organizing people, as well as Marie who was an amazing roommate & generous journeyer.

http://ihm2008.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/retreat-reflections/

What is Spirituality?

2009-01-01T23:23:00.011+08:00

Hi seed-to-bud-to-tree-lings!

Got asked a question this morning:
"Are you into spirituality?"

It is a strange question... I mean, someone can be INTO a person, or INTO a hobby, but INTO spirituality??? Isn't it simply a part of life, of faith? My reactive response was simply, "Of course! Why would I be a Catholic otherwise?" Yet over the course of the day I began to see that it isn't really true... I'm not Catholic because I enjoy spirituality... "spirituality" can be found in far more concentrated doses elsewhere (read: new age, yoga, protestant churches, buddhism, zen, philosophies, self-help, etc.) Spirituality is but a part of the Catholic faith... so what is spirituality?

Found this on Wikipedia (to list a few):

- Benedictine spirituality is characterized by life in community, order, and obedience to superiors.
- Franciscan spirituality is characterized by a life of poverty, love of nature, and giving charity to those in need.
- Dominican spirituality is characterized by poverty, love of preaching and devotion to truth.
- Ignatian spirituality is characterized by examination of one's life, discerning the will of God, and living the Resurrection.
- Carmelite spirituality is characterised by interior detachment, silence, solitude, desire for spiritual progress & insight into mystical experiences.
- The Redemptorist spirituality consists of the Crib, the Cross & the Sacrament. In other words, the Redemptorists follow Christ in his incarnation, death & resurrection & believe that he is always with them.
- The Opus Dei spirituality is the "sanctification of work" consists in offering all work, however ordinary, to God.

Seems to me, spirituality takes the beliefs of a Faith, and translates that into a particular lifestyle of particular meaning. In this case, spirituality is really important!!! It takes what the head processes, to the heart, and then to life in action, determining our choices, our "default settings", what we consider as breakdowns/breakthroughs, priorities/secondary. (It isn't just about praying over, or raising hands, or meditation... but more!)

What does your spirituality look like?

that's it i guess. really glad you all came to IHM for countdown. my home parish! :) in a funny way it just feels nice to have friends from elsewhere come visit... although i cldn't spend time with you... sorry. it is slightly different from sfx isn't it? :p HAPPY NEW YEAR!

because my spiritual director is a Canossian sister, here's a little bit of publicity for her... a video on the journey of 200 years of Canossian spirituality! :) you don't have to be nun to embrace parts, if not most of its essence. BIG HEARTS ♥

Serene

the grace-filled, joyful shepherd girl's Christmas

2008-12-27T00:32:00.002+08:00

I had a really good Christmas season the last few weeks... The presence of people I love, the good food, merriment as well as the time spent with strangers, with old people at St Joseph, caroling in house around Serangoon Gardens. And I'm really thankful for all the good things God has given to me in my life. In a way, I have come to experience a little joy in my heart, the peace and presence of my Lord with me deep inside. And it is so wonderfully appropriate that the Christmas mass homily was centered on the theme of JOY - Jesus, Others, Yourself. Indeed, Joy can only be experienced when you focus not on yourself, but on the other. There is no joy out of selfishness or self-centeredness... Strangely, it is something received when you have given yourself away.

As I was preparing my dress, putting on my make-up for Christmas eve mass, I thought about the real need for me to be so well-dressed. Who was I dressing up for? True, Christmas is a time of celebration and Christmas eve mass is a sort of highlight in church, but going back to the day of Christ's birth, people were hardly well-dressed! Neither was His place of birth as wonderfully lighted up and decorated as our church. It is just so darn easy to be caught up with everything about Christmas except Jesus. All the party invites, dinner preparations, card-writing etc... Too easy to forget being nicer to my family, to be more fore-bearing towards my dad, to cherish the times spent with my grandma, to control my voice and choice of words when speaking to my brothers, to be more affirming towards my friends. Won't these actions be much better Christmas presents? Easier to say, harder to do..

I felt very affirmed by Fr. Vase's homily on Christmas eve... and was wondering about who the shepherds were in our society. Who are the outcasts? The people whom are seen as lowly and rejected? Can we imagine at our present day and age, a mentally ill person, a prostitute in the streets, the people we really detest in society, as bearers of good news? Who are the outcasts in our church? The people we label as sunday-catholics, the ones we know who only turn up on Xmas day, the priests whom we have disliked for so long? Sometimes, it's a little romaticised, this whole image of Christmas. But what is the reality of it? This child Jesus, being born into this human world... I'm personally dumbfounded when I take this reflection deeper in my life. Why o why will You want to be born into this world? Why do You love human beings, nasty, cruel, destructive creatures, to the point of death? And each time I ask Him these questions, each time He questions my own faith, belief and trust in Him. Does it really matter Janice, that your fellow human beings are as such? For I came into this world to save you. Alas, aren't we all shepherds/ sinners in our own way? Only a sinner, can and will experience God's love and mercy towards him. I'm thankful to be that sinner, to be called to holiness despite my unworthiness.

God wants to save us, but we need to let go and Let God be God

2008-12-19T09:45:00.001+08:00

Christmas: God’s Grace at Work
by Rick Warren

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

God says, “I will give you my grace.” What is grace? That’s when God gives you what you need, not what you deserve. Grace is when God says, “I’m going to take your problem and make it my problem.” Grace is God’s Riches given to you At Christ’s Expense.

The Bible says: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV). In other words, you can’t earn your way to heaven. You can’t work your way in. It’s just a gift.

Did you know that’s why we give gifts at Christmas? Because that’s when God gave the gift of his Son to you – by grace. We give gifts because God gave us the greatest gift at Christmas.

I know I don’t look like it today, but for three years I was a lifeguard. And every lifeguard knows you can’t save someone as long as they are trying to save themselves. If somebody is drowning and flailing around in panic, a lifeguard knows to just stay back for a few seconds and wait until they give up. Because if you try to save them while they’re trying to save themselves, they will pull you under too.

When they finally give up, they relax, you put your arm around them and just swim back to shore. It’s really quite easy.

God wants to save you. Jesus Christ wants to save you from your hurts, your habits, and your hang-ups. He wants to save you for his purpose and by his grace. But you’ve got to quit trying to do it yourself. You’ve got to relax. You need to let go and let God be God.

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Prior to confession

2008-12-18T09:36:00.002+08:00

Taken off Word Among Us

Airports, train stations, and bus terminals tend to be impersonal and even drab places. At this time of year, though, they are settings for joyful meetings that can bring a tear to a bystander's eye. Little children run to greet Grandma and Grandpa with a hug and a kiss. Bouquets appear as couples are reunited. Tears of glad relief greet a beloved family member, home on leave from military service.

Why are reunion scenes so moving? Isn’t it because, deep within us, they bear witness to our longing and appreciation for relationships that bring us joy? God created us to thrive and delight in intimacy and community, in loving and being loved. And he created us to know these good gifts, first of all, in our relationship with him!

This is the “good news of great joy” that the angel announced to shepherds on the night that changed history. God loved us so much that he sent his only Son to lead us home, by the power of his Holy Spirit. Because of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, there is nothing to prevent us from coming into the family circle of God’s own life.

This Advent, the Father is inviting you to come home to him. He wants you to know the joy that never fails—even in times of trial, even when human relationships distress or disappoint. He is ready to remove every barrier, big or small, to your relationship with him. And so he invites you to come to him in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you prepare for this encounter with the God who loves you so much. You can use the following examination of  conscience as a starting point. Take your time to reflect on the questions and Scripture passages. Believe that the “good news of great joy” really is for you.

If you haven’t discovered it already, you’ll see that the confessional—like the airport—can be a scene of joyful meeting, too.

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart.. I will delight and rejoice in you. (Psalm 9:2-3)

Am I loving and serving God with my heart, mind, and strength? Or have I become the servant of something else?

Have I given priority to God on Sundays and holy days by attending Mass and making a special effort to seek him?

Do I give Jesus a say in the way I spend my time, money, and other resources? Am I using these gifts to build his kingdom?

Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

Have I been faithful to prayer and Scripture reading, opening myself to God’s love and direction every day?

Have I allowed myself to slide into sinful habits out of boredom, inattention, laziness, or frustration?

What trials and difficulties are causing me the most pain right now? Am I keeping faith and trust in God and his promises?
To practice justice is a joy for the just. (Proverbs 21:15)

How am I working for the coming of Christ’s kingdom of justice and peace?

Is Jesus calling me to take a stand against some particular injustice? Have I sought his guidance about how to respond?

Am I helping to build a world where human life is valued and respected?

Have I stolen anything or cheated on my income taxes? Do I need to make restitution?

How have I helped care for the poor, less fortunate, sick, and suffering?

Complete my joy by being of the same mine, with the same love, united in heart. (Philippians 2:2)

How am I doing in my relationships with the people God is calling me to love and serve; family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, parishioners? AM I treating them with respect and compassion?

Are there ways in which my words, attitudes, or actions have caused disunity in my relationships?

Am I harboring any anger, resentment, or hatred against someone? Is there anyone I need to forgive? Is there anyone whose forgiveness I need to ask?

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you…? Therefore, glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Do I treat my body with respect, or have I abused it through the willful misuse of drugs, alcohol, or food?

Am I following Jesus’ teaching on sexual morality? Do I indulge in lustful thoughts and sexual fantasies? Have I committed sins of impurity?

Have I opened myself to unhealthy media influences that influenced the way I think, the words I use, or the choices I make?

Holy Spirit, help me to examine my heart. Lead me to yourself and to the joy that no one can take away!

Blessedness

2008-12-15T20:51:00.006+08:00

Hi folks, I can't make it to sharing tomorrow, so here's one instead. Somehow tuesday evenings have become sacred to me... in the short time I have been with you, I've learnt, experienced, completed & began a good many things. Someone dear to me, who is no longer around, once told me I should always strive toward living a life I love (also a way of discerning God's call I suppose), and I think I'm beginning to see it :) Praise God.

At IHM I am working on writing some stories (slowly but surely). They are about how parishioners experience their conversion to and within the Faith. As I was consolidating the notes I had on an interview, something struck me about what she (the parishioner) said:

God never acts against what He has made you for

That's amazing, to me. I see it describing my life very well. For instance, even when "bad" things happen, I always realize that somehow it works out for the better - that it happened because I had asked for something else (and didn't know it was not what I had). Other times, God seems to speed things up for me, or else clarify the paths I had been fickle about by "bad" things happening. Seriously a mystery. Faith and trust somehow keeps me with the Father. After all, He never fails. And I always want to do what His plan calls for. (I struggle for sure haha but I think somehow He always makes me come around.)

Last but not least, I'd really like to share my experience with God's timing, and God's covenant. This is one of the greatest "miracles" for me, even though it may seem little.

When I got to know Jesus in the States, I was incredibly enthusiastic. Growth in the faith, and in community, just skyrocketed in all sense of the word. I found myself desiring baptism. But when I called home to share this with my parents, they were close to horrified. They see me as gullible and was afraid I had joined a cult. I was really upset, and in fact cried tons about this alone, because I longed to officially belong to God's family but couldn't bring myself to baptism without seeing that my blood family too understood its significance for me.

That year I graduated and came back to Singapore. In the first 3 months I searched for a church, but somehow none seemed to stick even though I had friends there. It's hard to explain. I drifted off after that... and my life took several dives too in all areas - family, relationships, work... old/good friends were the only constant then. It amazed me when I realized my parents had started to explore the Faith. In fact, they brought me back! They went for Alpha together, and got me into RCIA with them. And we eventually ALL got baptised AND confirmed. Even my grandma!!! The journey is simply amazing. The prayer that I had fervently prayed with my mates in the States, eventually got fulfilled 2 whole years later. And I still have NO IDEA how it exactly happened. Perhaps it is not with our efforts alone that good things come, but with the Grace and Will of God that we find what we are looking for .

:) I hope many of you can come for the gathering at my place this Saturday. There will be good food to eat, and I really want to show my appreciation for the group. You might think you did nothing, but with God's Hand you did!! Thank You and Praise God for community, for pure hearts and mercy, and for Love.

Serene (SFG)

a short reflection on old and new.

2008-12-06T15:16:00.003+08:00

It is advent; and it is adventitious as it is a forgotten irony that the beginning of the church year starts at the end of the secular year. Does the secular old end with the religious new?

A child born in a manger; the crisis in Mumbai. The three wise men in their pilgrimage to whom the Star pointed would be King; a flood that left what used to be a home in ruins. A revelation to the virgin mother of the son of God; a new waterborne disease that affects the dehydrated indigenous in Africa.
And we ask whether what happened 2000 years ago, changed anything, anyway.

Yes there is. Meaning is what has made Change. The meaning of a child born who was set to be crucified on a cross for the sins of the world; the meaning of suffering borne on a "sheep silent to the slaughter", is where the secrets and mysteries of hope lie. For it is through this meaning, that a new dignity in place. A dignity that identifies with those who are lost and those who are in the pain of loss, for "by His wounds we are healed". The secular old does not end with the religious new. The New makes all the Old meaningful.

Meaning works on a continuum- from a stranger we meet at a social gathering, to the acquaintance we subsequently come to know at supper, to the community member that we had invited to, to the friend that we will come to cherish. Take a look around, the persons you know, would fall along that line somewhere. But meaning is not subjective, it is not only who they mean to me. But who they mean to God. Thats why we pray for the sick and the lonely, the destitute and they dying- even when they are faceless, even when we have no idea who they are nor what they go through. Simply because they are persons who mean something.

Christmas is about gifts. From the Gift of " a baby born one blessed night" to that unspoken warmth that ripples through the hearts of the old and lonely when a group of tone deaf young adults strive to sound melodious in a hospice, to the celebration of a friend getting married, to the ritualistic getting together on Christmas eve, if short of a better excuse, to simply be together. That's the gift one presents to another.

The old in the community finds comfort and hope in the new, whilst the new find meaning in the community from the old. The magic of Christmas lies neither in presents nor in eloquence nor in music playing nor in culinery skills. It lies behind the simple act of three old wise men, bringing all that they have, knowing that it falls far short of what is deserving, to pay homage to Him who makes all things new...

God will make a way. AMEN!

2008-11-21T11:52:00.001+08:00

Discerning God's will

2008-11-15T14:51:00.009+08:00

Wanted to share a homily I heard on Fri, at the CSC... I didn't even plan to attend it, and at the last min cancelled 2 appts just to be there... something didn't feel right... something wasn't complete... Anyway it was wonderful! It felt like God finally decided He should reply me. (And I have been asking Him how to discern His will for the LONGEST time!)

my question has always been: how do i know this is your will? how do i know i'm not just imposing my will on yours? if it's your will why is it so freakin' difficult (usu. meaning why are other people so difficult)? can't you just whisper in my ear?

and he always answers: why don't YOU whisper in my ear. (HAHA.)

ok... SO. Notes from Fr. William Goh's homily (SIGH - why can't I be a seminarian), on discerning God's will:

Foundational principles

1. Trust in divine providence - you need to trust that He has revealed His will to you.

2. He has given us the natural & supernatural means to know His will.

Discerning the movement of Authentic Love

1. The signified will of God has 3 parts - commandments, counsels & inspiration. Sometimes, when you get confused (i.e. is this spirit divine, human or evil?), just remember: If it is from the Divine Spirit, the beginning will be good. The middle will be good. And the end will ALSO be good.

2. Discernment is often a communal process. And sometimes if it goes against your will, just be prepared to submit in good faith. (This is extremely difficult, from personal experience... but extremely wise. Praise God - thank you dear Father.)

3. There is freedom of spirit to co-operate. When people come together out of complete freedom... that's lovely. We don't control time, place, circumstance... it always has to happen out of pure freedom of spirit.

Finally, how do you know if THIS (whatever it is), is really what God called you, or wills you for? Fr. William offers 3 suggested pointers, which are amazing...:

(1) Perseverance in one's vocation

The inspiration usually ENHANCES one's fidelity to one's vocation. He doesn't call a married man to priesthood, or a young man with ailing parents to support to seminary. And even if He's calling you to something quite different, i think He kinda maps it out more or less for you, so even though it's scary, it's still do-able. The inspiration is usually compatible with your state of life. He gives you more faithfulness, less fickleness.

(2) The affective states

Enduring PEACE If it is from the Lord, there is peace. You can sleep at night! :) Not sure how that relates to people who lose sleep thinking about their lovers though... i think maybe Fr. Will just means peace, in whatever area you previously could not find peace. Maybe for him it was sleep ;)

JOY Even in suffering and disappointment! Praise God for your weaknesses, because he only wants you to acknowledge your sinfulness so as to raise you up! It is such an amazing God.

Spiritual CONSOLATION/DESOLATION ... esp. in prayer. Consolation happens when you do something right. Desolation will be when you do something wrong. And authentic consolation is usu. followed by fruitfulness, peace & perseverance :) If something you do/decide makes you lose that moral compass, that sense of right/wrong... then please stop and return your gaze to God! He is so good... and praise God for that too. thank you Jesus.

(3) Presence of christian virtues

That is, humility, obedience & charity. Humility, to be open to correction... Obedience, the mark of true inspiration... and Charity, which reduces the conflict of the 'duty' of every moment (that is, if you sincerely love, do what you will! it will be right.) We are not judged by what we do, but by WHY we do what we do... All is made for charity, and charity for God. Do note too, that charity takes precedence over piety & prayer. Don't go running to church when someone is right beside you and calling for help!

that's it...

i'm still having trouble... but i think it helps a bit to keep the principles in mind... and above all, in my case, the wisdom of a communal process, and the importance of the presence of spiritual consolation.

thanks for listening...

Serene

In the Sins Of Entrapment - A random thought

2008-11-11T23:16:00.019+08:00

It was really an eye opener to see the reality of the world that buries from within this land that we live in. Cynicism? One might ask, or is it just an overbearing truth? Should one conform or one to conform the world into one's hand? I would chose the latter. Unrealistic? Perhaps, but i liked a challenged. Perhaps that's what martyrdom is about. To be martyred to what we truly believes in. My beliefs in standing firm in the reality of Jesus and walk in his ways. Have I fail to see the beauty and joy of what the world has dishes out. The question is, is one to find the meaning of joy in the reality and the chaos around us or perhaps to find the meaning of joy in standing firm in one's belief in the true ministering in Jesus in our everyday lives. In order to live in this world, should one conform to the ugliness of what it brings forth? Is there no ray of hope to stand in what one's truly believes in? Confused? Or rather am I'm afraid to go further than what I have already given and received. Can anyone really go out all the way and be crucified in what they really believe in? Can one really conform to the world and yet live a Holy and Godly life? Is mediocrity a way of mere acceptance and because we want to or did we relentlessly chose the world by giving in into it's vices? Can one really give up the glitz and glamour of the world and settle entirely in living with Jesus with just pure contentment . It's so confusing. Perhaps confusion is just another reason and a way of spelling out one is afraid to accept more than one deserve? It has ultimately brought out an inhibition in us to change the world bringing forth a new world of hope and ponder on the word of God. Jesus is truly the Son of the living God. To live in this world without fault and sin, It's rather impossible isn't it? He must be God . He is God. It dawned on me to realised how blessed are as Christians and the catholics of this world to really embrace the true love and true forgivingness that the outside world fail to see. To lose sight of love or never to have loved before. Embrace love I say. Don't ever let Jesus's love lost sight in us all. Cause at the end when we are no longer part of this world, the only One that is there with us at the Light is our Lord, Jesus Christ. As he stands waiting patiently at the end of the light welcoming us home with His warmth and loving arms.

Yours ever so lovingly,

Suzanne

silence is truly golden

2008-11-09T23:43:00.002+08:00

Love this picture

I had the opportunity to take some time off my work and spend 2 nights at a retreat house in Jln Merbok, the Canossians Spirituality Center. It was a silent retreat, all meals provided and a spiritual director to guide me in my retreat. I went there with a very tired and broken spirit, and I guess I can really boast about God's work in me throughout the retreat, fixing me where I was broken and lifting me up from my weariness.

Even when I was in NY, it was hard to be by myself, to be silent. There were just too many things to do, so many things to see... I want to see them all!! No time to be still, no time to pray! haha.. play all day! And when I came back from NY, it was a tonne of work to deliver and just a great number of church responsibilities heaped on my shoulders. On top of that, I was still struggling to overcome my heartache and to help my family find peace in their lives. I was doing something for the church, or helping my mum with her burdens, or being there for a friend, or trying to finish that report... No time for me, no time for myself.

It all became evident when an old uncle in church I spoke to said, "You so busy, no time for yourself even!"
I was glad I managed to book myself for 3 days 2 nights over the last week and just go to a quiet place, to rest, to be with God. I badly needed rest, and on top of that, I needed healing, intimacy with God.

The first thing I did when I reached my room in the retreat house was to lie down and cry.
"I'm so tired Lord, I'm so so tired.."

After the emotional release, I started unpacking my bag, putting my clothes in the cupboard, placing my books on the table, looking around the room and feeling all dandy and pleased with my new surroundings. Speaking with my spiritual director that night helped me to release the issues inside of me and just come to terms with my problems, my weaknesses. Being the emotional creature that I am, I kept crying and honestly felt embarrassed for crying so much! O well, I did feel better after that and I went back to my room to sleep.

I had a wonderful 10 hour sleep and woke at 1030am the next day. Sweet sweet slumber. How much I missed thee!
Throughout the day, it was a constant time of silence, reflection, sleep, prayer and just heart to heart communication with God. It was a blessing to be away, for once, just not having people tell you what to do, not feeling obliged to do anything for others. Just time for me, myself and I with God. It also helps that Jln Merbok faces the Bukit Batok Nature Park with lush greenery you hardly see in Singapore. Everytime I look towards the greenery, I just feel so peaceful, feeling like this is just where I need to be.

Towards the end of the day, I had again, the privilege of speaking to my spiritual director and allowing her questions to guide me deeper into what I was experiencing at that point of time. For a very long time, I feel a blockage inside me. Something was holding me back from growing, from building intimate relationships with others and I felt it had such a hold on me. It was affecting the way I see myself, the way others see me, the way God views me. Initially she asked me questions on surrendering my burdens to others, which slowly led to questions on my self-esteem and self-confidence. I guess I constantly project an image of self-confidence and independence to others, but when I grow closer to them, the reverse happens and I become very needy for their affection and affirmation. It hurts me just as much as it hurts others and after some questioning, I found that perhaps what I really needed to surrender to God was my constant self-pity. I know it's a disgusting trait and I absolutely despise others who possess such a trait, but I never knew how much of a hold it had on me until a few days ago. She asked me to list a few good qualities I had, which I then did... Loving, patience, passion, kindness, humour, peace-maker etc. But when she asked if I believed in my good qualities, all I could answer was a meek... "I guess I believe them..." .... NOT! ha... I actually found it hard to believe in my good points and be thankful for them. For far too long, I have been focusing on my weaknesses, my areas to improve, my hurts, pains because through this navel-gazing, I sort of gain a sense of self-importance and self-glorification. Truly believing in my good qualities will take this sense of gratification, call it addiction if you will, through self-pity away from me. I think I ever commented, "I think I'm addicted to misery..." and I did not realise how true that is.

Moving on from this realisation, my SD then proceeded to give me a prescription for my addiction. I needed to build up my own self-confidence and love my good qualities. So I made a list of good qualities I had, and everyday, just dwell on the good things in me, believing in them MYSELF and thanking God for them, thinking of ways to use them to glorify others and to glorify God. From there, it takes my mind off myself and allows me to dwell on God and others. I'm really excited about this new me that I'm going to discover... it's really painful to say goodbye to my old habits and there was resistance to start believing in me, as crazy as that sounds, but I prayed very hard for God to break this addiction and bondage within me so that I can truly be set free. I want to build healthy, happy and intimate relationships with others and I want to truly care, to truly love, to truly be happy. I don't know why I have to carry this cross within me or what event, what situation or who put this cross in me. But now that I know it, I guess it's something I can deal with better and find a way to break through it.

On the last day, I had an intimate experience of God as my creator, as blogged in my other blog. It was sort of an affirmation from Him, telling me that He is pleased with me and my efforts in seeking Him and searching for Him have been blessed. I left the retreat with a reflecion on Psalm 138, a psalm of thanksgiving and praise to God.

I praise your name for your faithful love and your constancy
your promises surpass even your fame.
You heard me on the day when I called,
and you gave new strength to my heart.

Psalm 138:2-3

Praise God!

In The Eyes Of The Rose Tinted Glass

2008-11-06T10:32:00.021+08:00

The world is like a sinful malice that traps the souls of the weak and lost.
Seeking solace where all has it long gone?
Where will peace lies for those who seek?
Seek the peace where true peace lay.
Gone are the days for the quest of my worth and existence,
Where the true meaning of life has already dawned upon us all.
A stream of tear that trickles gently down her cheek,
As it washes away the loss in her far and unguarded eyes,
what do one see but the warmness of one's love and compassion,
A glimpse of hope that lies in the presence of our Heavenly Jesus,
The world that has grown dim where fear seems to linger behind casting a shadow,
A new president embarked with a new leash of vision and hope,
Refreshes us all like the fountain of everlasting youth,
Pray for the new leader of the United States Of America,
To bring forth a better world out from the near yester years,
Do not fear, our Lord always say,
Believe and wait for my coming till the very last day,
Cherish the moments when we use to be so young at heart,
Reminiscing the times where everything seems simple and fresh in our own little ways,
Time passes by and temptation sets in,
Inevitably has led us into a world of unscrupulous pretense,
Seeing the world with a set of the rose tinted glass,
where the true world lies only in our Father's Heavenly hands,
I pray to Thee to strip away that old garment of cynicism,
And put me on a new set of garment of pearly whites,
Sprinkle down on me with a pinch of that joyful angels' dust,
Waiting and longing for His ever coming Presence so patiently,
As each grain flows down from the antique hour glass.
When will You come, my sweet Beloved Lord Jesus?
Look around you my dearest, my Lord says,
I am right beside you all the way till the end of times,
Forever now,
Till ever and ever.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

Loving You always , my Lord Jesus,

Suzanne

Of Human Life

2008-11-02T00:08:00.003+08:00

Hi all, some takeaways I got from the Humanae Vitae (aka "Of Human Life") Congress.

Perhaps it's just like how Janice feels for the environment, I do feel for this subject... 1, Relationships tend to, and can get messy, especially when sex is the main focus of any one party (usu. the stronger one). The faith, and the community with its elders and models in marriage and family life is such a well-needed counterbalance for us - for children growing into their adult roles/vocations. Sometimes it's hard to know what is right/wrong... esp. when you look to someone other than God and his appointed ones for guidance & leadership. But then, when you find someone you can trust, who has your interest at heart, who's genuinely God-fearing... that's pretty amazing. And i think it's something we all look out for. (I do anyways :p) 2, Contraception is just evil!!! (If you disagree please argue with me. I would REALLY appreciate that. Nature, and the way men & women are created, is beautiful. And contraception denies, rather than embraces all the faculties of 2 people & their communion. So, onto the takeaways proper...

1. The body has a language. (Do you know what you are saying to people with what you wear, how you behave, how you look?)

2. Sex is a renewal of marriage vows.

3. The purpose of sex is both unifying & procreating. Neither purpose is superior to the other.

4. By surrendering your freedom to another, you find true freedom in love! :) (this was my favorite, my ephiphany if u like.)

5. How to distinguish love & lust, and how to tell if someone loves you...

Love / Lust

- waits to give / can't wait to get

- gives / uses

- honors / objectifies

- fills with God's love / devoid of God's love

If he (a man) really loves you (a woman), he would:

- feel a sense of responsibility over her

- protect her body & soul, not use her

6. The failure of man: always asking "do I measure up". hehe. You are all awesome brothers, well-beloved sons of God. So don't feel so if you do, ok?

7. The genius of womanhood: sensitivity, receptivity, generosity.... sensitive to see & understand the deeper needs & longings of the human heart, & to respond with love. Receptivity... womb receives life, God loved church first, active "yes"... Generosity... allows love to be expressed by God by being open to fertility & procreation! So to us (me included), don't apologise for how you have been made! Embrace & honor it as God's gift.

8. If you ever lose sight of your femininity (or lose your way as a man), be in solitude with God. Reflect, and in the silence and listening, find your originality again. The Creator knows us, knows you, best.

9. You are, as human, both body and soul. You don't get more spiritual by hurting your body! It's like how we get scared when we see dead bodies, or hear about souls/ghosts in a hotel. Humans, in our design, are both body & soul!

10. A guiding question to keep in mind, esp. in the relationships that mean the most to us: "Does this imitate God's free, total, faithful & fruitful love?" For the original man was naked without shame. They loved each other and felt safe, even though totally vulnerable... so beautiful. Sigh. Why did original sin have to happen!! :(

A cool site to visit: www.theologyofthebody.net

In talking about last Sunday's homily with some folks, I was pondering about what Fr Jo said, that "Love is a decision." It felt wrong to me somehow, but I guess I was just picky with his language. When he said love is a decision, it sounds like love is nothing but an act of will - like forcing yourself to love someone. Shouldn't it be more like: the Will (body/mind) is an expression of Love?! For when the will flows naturally from love, there is no struggle... just immense peace, fulfillment, purpose :) yup... so i think blessed are we if we find something/someone we can love. for indeed God is so good to reveal that to us. the only challenge left is how - how to love, how to care, how to be the best stewards of his gifts that we can be.

hope that was useful! :) or at least entertaining in some way.

a song, representative of my wish for all.

blessings. thank u for being ard. - serene

The gift of the Heavenly tongue

2008-10-26T09:40:00.029+08:00

Living in the world where love seems to have grown dim,
Where a spark of hope that sparkles in the midst of our Father's house,
The love that we tend to take for granted for,
Has long forgiven us all,
To love and to be loved is the greatest gift from Heaven above,
Finding the sense of belonging that we already long have,
I love You Jesus, always have and will be,
The bright morning star that illuminates during these eminent of times,
You are my love, my hope and my light,
You are my Saviour that has brought the true meaning back into my life,
You see through all my flaws and all my weaknesses,
And transform them into the greatest power of strength,
and set forth the advocate that You have chosen thee,
You are the All Almighty God, You are truly worthy and ever so lovely,
I love You Jesus forever and ever, from the beginning till now,
Forever and in eternity,
I longed to write You a love song O Lord Jesus,
Praying to finds the words to say how much I truly adore Thee,
When the words touched my lips as they flow through in the midst of songs,
Where emotion dwells that has been set free by the flow of each wondrous melodies,
Finding the words to sing praises to Thee with the gift of the Heavenly tongue,
To sing praises to our Father in Heaven that I pray ever so fervently,
May the Precious Holy Spirit come upon us all like the Holy Heavenly Dove,
To dwell in our humble presence forever and ever,
Touch each and everyone of our hearts of Your precious sons and daughters,
Lord Jesus please remember us all in Heaven, I truly pray thee,
And to let them know that I love each and everyone of them ever so dearly.
I love You Jesus, my Lord and my Saviour,
That You are none without a doubt,
Ever so truly,
The Son of the Heavenly God.

In Jesus name.
Amen.

Loving You always Jesus, my Lord,

Suzanne

Coming back to the heart of worship

2008-10-25T20:55:00.017+08:00

It's been a long time since I have blogged on the Mustardseed community's blog. It gladdens me to say that I am pleased to have given this time of grace to pen down my thoughts once again and to share my emotions here with the love that I so long to share. Let the Holy Spirit guide me at these moment of peace and solace. To embrace my heart's desires and to lift them up to the Lord. In Jesus most Holy and precious name. Amen.

Many people might not know me. I guess what I really mean't was to really know me and about my life. I have been in the community for so long now, but i dare say few really know me for the person that I am. Perhaps it was my choice unintentionally. As a result, I have ultimately lost touch of who I really was. I have been away from MSC since early January, and all these time when I was away, my heart aches as I miss the community tremendously. I felt that I wasn't good enough for anyone. So I decided to run away from my fears and unworthiness. I really seek for forgiveness for my actions and I really hope that things would be back the way it use to be.

After I have been away from the community. I seek my identity through my work, hopefully able to find solace in doing my job well. I thought that as long as I did my job well and go to church every week. It must be fine. How terrible wrong I was. I gradually sink into depression again and looking for solace at the wrong places. I finally realised that there's must be more to life than this, right?

I am currently working at Mount Avernia hospital temporary for now so as to gain the experience that I needed before I embark my journey in pursue for my nursing license in November. I wanted to dedicate my life into healing the sick. I am really thankful for everything that the Lord has blessed me with over the years. Most of you might have heard that I am being sponsored to pursue my nursing license and will be bonded to one of the parkway hospitals of my choice. I was hoping either Gleneagles or Mount Elizabeth. I felt that perhaps it's really my vocation to help the sick. I really don't know. All I can say is, it feels so right. Perhaps it was my mom's illness due to depression since I was around the age of 4. I prayed and tried to find a cure to her illness but to no avail. Her conditions have definitely improved over the years but I really hope it could have been better. I love her very very much and really pray that one day I will find a cure for her that can heal her.

So whenever there are sick and suffering patients around, I really can feel for them especially their family members and love ones. The heartaches, the sufferings, tolerance, patience, compassion, each plays a big role in my life. I have become that strong willed person that I have loss the ability to get in touch with my inner femininity. My Dad's love has been the only life's source before I have accepted Jesus in my life. He stayed on to fight my mom's illness that I am always grateful for. I love you daddy!

After coming back to the community, I felt that it's time to give back to what I should have already done so for the longest time. And its about time and I am willing to commit my life into the Lord's ministry. I have many a times to wish to just stay home and catch my long needed sleep but I decided that my time is to be given to the community from now on. I wouldn't say I am capable to take up any major projects at this point of time but what is within my reach, I am gladly willing to uphold the end of my journey with Christ! One of them which is caroling this coming Christmas at St Joseph Home! I am actually quite excited about it! lol. I have finally found that peace and solace that I have been looking for. And it has been right under my noses all along. And it's you MSC. I am in You and You are in me , Jesus! Love You Lord. In Jesus most Holy and precious name. Amen.

Loving You Lord Jesus always,

Suzanne

Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! Praise GOD! AMEN!

2008-10-20T10:27:00.003+08:00

Friends! Praise God!

This weekend has been amazing amazing amazing and I dont know what else to say except PRAISE GOD!

Actually the weekend started off very badly. I had an assignment due on sat and i came early to school on sat to work on it. But just before i wanted to hand it up at 3pm to go for IPPT (which i thought i was going to fail), i realised the word limit was 1200 instead of 2000. that means i had to cut my essay almost into half. its very tough. so i had to go for ippt and then come back to school to work on the essay.

Going for IPPT was like sian cause for 1.5 hours, you see alot of people but you dont talk to anyone. That was last year's experience and so i prayed to our Lord to send me someone to talk to during the "cold" process. And i had friends who wanted to join me but last min they couldnt. so there i was alone, until our good lord sent me a primary school friend! and we had such a good time catching up. Praise God!

As usual, the stations are ok for me. But i hate running against time. Worse still, i was damn tired after the first round! i was going to cramp anytime! and i normally feel tired only second or third round to just pass! so i was doomed for sure. i knew that, based on my own efforts, i was not going to pass. the consequences are severe. I will have to go for remedial training three times a week. since i cant afford the time, i will be charged. furthermore, being an officer, i am sure to be reprimanded by my CO during reservist. So things were just bleak. and in times of desperation, who do we turn to? GOD!

I prayed oh lord help me. and for a moment, i wished that the lord speeded things up and the run was over and phew torture was over. but deep down i knew that was not how the lord works. he doesnt reduce the difficulty, but he gives you the grace to overcome the difficulties. 4th round, 5th round, things still looked bleak. it was going to be just pass or just fail. Then, suddenly, i was filled with HOPE. hope is so important and this hope gave me the energy to run the last lap like mad. and i passed, praise god!

after the run, i was so happy not because i passed but because god was there with me. and i was just reflecting in all the aspects of my life that evidently i need to be weaker to allow god to work his miracles. its really easy to identify which areas we need to surrender. for me, STUDIES shouted out loud at me. Ever since my GPA dropped from first class honours last sem, I have been trying to take control. but the more i try, the worse things seem to become. i tried to surrender but i just cant. i am not convinced.

after this weekend of miracles, i am having a paradigm shift. I am beginning to see myself just as a creature in this world which the lord made just to see us doing things and praising him. that is our duty. that was why we were created for. i think for a long time now, i refuse to believe that i was made just to glorify god and give him pleasure. surely that sounds like i am so pathetic? my life is just to make someone else happy? how about me! i want this and that! The snake said to Adam and Eve, "YOU SHALL BE LIKE GOD!" and that was what i was trying to do. i was trying to be the god of my studies. the god of my everything. i wanted more things so i could glorify myself. i wished people would say good things about me, and envy me. I wanted them to worship me!

Oh dear, this all sounds so terrible, but it is so true. in the small things that we wanna take control, we are trying to be god. BUT WE ARE CREATURE! or animal haha, or monster(cheryl adela hahahaha)

anyway, after ippt, went for my sister's 21st bdae and then i chased my friends home so i could go back to work on the HEART OF WORSHIP ppt. i did it till 3am with melissa and once again i was awed at the fact that i worked till so late. i have never ever done so, even when it was A levels or O levels! i would rather sleep and fail the exam. sleep means so much to me. but somehow, for the lord, joy overtook the need to sleep, praise god!

something that really pulled me thru the night was the phase, do everything for the lord. dont think you are doing it for man! indeed! we can praise god in every single thing we do. not just when we do spiritual things. i can smile at the cleaner, i can be nice and patient when i am driving. i can praise god for the car and ask him to help me be wise about the gifts i have-dont drive too much and kill the earth!

core election was another WOW for me. really. i struggled big time choosing the five people, cause i was looking at the weaknesses of some people that day. but the funny thing was the lord guided me and then i began to look at their goodness, and what they can contribute. and in the end, the people i struggled most with electing to be my leader (or co worker in the vineyard) were the people i nominated. and then eve left the room and i was praying, Lord, ignore my votes. please replace the names with people that you want to be in the core. and i was praying for myself too and i just felt so peaceful, 100% able to accept the fact that i might not be in the next call. i was so peaceful thinking about how i can contribute as a non core member. and then i began to pray for the people who were not going to be elected. and i realised that if they really believed that the voting was god's plan enacted thru human hands, and not just humans casting votes, then it will be so much easier to accept. cause its not rejecting these people. its god who is calling us to diff purposes, amen?!

to get 70% and just nice 5 names in the first round was mind blowing for me.

Now that i am in the new core team, I forsee very challenging times. ha first thing jean said to me was Oh man i cant believe i am serving in the core again with you and we both laughed. and she said, the guys are very strong so its going to be challenging.

Indeed, its going to be very challenging, but his grace is enough.

Jesus, thank you for allowing me to know my place. I am but a creature made by you to praise and glorify you. May i always seek to glorfiy you in everything i do. i love you, thank you for loving me. there is nothing more i need except you.

raymond theodore raphael.

Jesus may have been the Son of God and all, but hey, even HE had to make a living!

2008-10-15T23:53:00.014+08:00

You may have missed the first 2 series, but we wouldn't sweat over it if we were you.

Mustard Seed Community presents to you the 3rd series of Metanoia entitled "Christian Living." In this series, we will be addressing some of the difficult questions about living out our lives as young Catholic adults.

"Christian Living" starts on Saturday, 25th October 2008@2pm at the Church of Saint Francis Xavier, Singapore.

For more details and registration, please click on the posters to enlarge. Oh, and if you want to avoid looking like our two friends on the right, you may want to come down and learn how! (We strongly suggest you do or you might make babies cry and give your friends, and even yourself, nightmares!!!)

P.S. Do check out our Facebook link for this event! ;)

will we stand up for our beliefs like them?

2008-10-13T20:30:00.001+08:00

Two weeks ago, (I wish) I went to Macau

2008-09-30T15:40:00.000+08:00

Two weeks ago, I went to Macau.

I spent five days in that small Casino city with six fantastic buddies of mine: Hermie Morelos, Gil Ramiscal, Pio Espanol, Roy Pasimio, Tim Duran, and Carl Fontanilla. They also happen to be the “pioneer” leaders of my community, Light of Jesus, and our virtual community, KerygmaFamily. (Get very blessed! Log on at www.KerygmaFamily.com now!) We brought our wives along, so it was doubly fun.

What did we do in Macau?

Nothing.

No talks, no meetings, no sessions.

We talked.

We laughed.

We bonded.

We took lots of photos. (We’re Filipinos!)

We ate lots of Chinese food.

And being in Macau, we visited lots of Casinos.

Not to gamble of course. I mean, we’re Lay Elders of a Catholic group, right?

So we just watched the Casino’s floor show of sexy dancers.

Just kidding.

We couldn’t do that.

Our wives were with us.

Haha!

Seriously, the gang had enormous fun just being together.

When people heard that we were going to Macau for 5 days, they asked me, “Why five days? Macau is so small. After two days, you’ve seen it all.”

You see, it was not Macau that makes the trip great.

The trip was great because of the people I was with.

I’d like to share something special about this group. Do you know how many years have we been serving God together? More than 20 years now. Some of us as long as 27 years.

Here’s the secret: I’ve discovered that we should first of all be friends before we’re fellow-leaders. Once the leaders of a community or prayer group or church stop being friends, the organization will divide. Guaranteed.

So we’ve been friends all these years.

Belly to belly.

Arm to arm.

Shoulder to shoulder.

Smelly armpit to smelly armpit.

We’re Best Buds.

Not that we don’t fight.

We do. Oh, you should hear us argue in our meetings. I’m ashamed to say this, but we even have our tampuhan blues. (How do you translate that in English?)

But we’ve stuck together like glue.

Because we’ve decided to grow old together.

No matter what happens.

Why?

A long time ago, I’ve defined what my wealth is…

My wealth is my relationships.

Not my money.

Not my properties.

Not my investments.

My wealth is my relationship with God.

My wealth is my relationship with my family.

My wealth is my relationship with my friends.

And my wealth is the spiritually and materially poor that I minister to daily.

This is the reason why I’m rich.

Money Is Not My Definition of Wealth,

But It Sure Comes In Handy

For example, I needed money to go to Macau.

And every weekly romantic date I have with my wife requires money too.

Including my dates with my kids.

And my dates with my 83-year old Mom.

I repeat: My wealth is my relationships. Not money.

But I can’t deny that money helps me in my relationships.

Once upon a time, I was poor.

But in the past 10 years, I’ve grown my financial wealth. I now have small businesses, got into real estate, and learned to work the stock market and other paper assets. From being a poor missionary, I now enjoy 16 streams of income flowing into my life.

Because of this, I now send a growing number of poor kids to school, support more missionaries, and give more livelihood to poor families.

Do you want the same experience to happen in your life?

May your dreams come true,

Bo Sanchez Min Wei

Faithfulness in our committments.

2008-09-22T18:27:00.000+08:00

“Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!” Matthew 25:23 (NLT)*** *** *** ***

Real servants are faithful to their ministry. Servants finish their tasks, fulfill their responsibilities, keep their promises, and complete their commitments. They don’t leave a job half undone, and they don’t quit when they get discouraged. They are trustworthy and dependable.Faithfulness has always been a rare quality (Psalm 12:1; Proverbs 20:6; Philippians 2:19–22).Most people don’t know the meaning of commitment. They make commitments casually, then break them for the slightest reason without any hesitation, remorse, or regret. Every week, churches and other organizations must improvise because volunteers didn’t prepare, didn’t show up, or didn’t even call to say they weren’t coming.Can you be counted on by others? Are there promises you need to keep, vows you need to fulfill, or commitments you need to honor?This is a test. God is testing your faithfulness. If you pass the test, you’re in good company: Abraham, Moses, Samuel, David, Daniel, Timothy, and Paul were all called faithful servants of God.Even better, God has promised to reward your faithfulness in eternity. Imagine what it will feel like one day to have God say to you, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!” (Matthew 25:23 NLT).By the way, faithful servants never retire. They serve faithfully as long as they’re alive. You can retire from your career, but you will never retire from serving God.

Rick Warren Tan Min Wei

What is True

2008-09-22T17:41:00.007+08:00

Dear all,

last Saturday i went for the talk at IHM about "Why the Catholic Church is the True Church". It was important to me because i first received the grace of Christ through a Presbyterian community. And it bothered me that they are now wrong in their institutional beliefs... Some notes below on "what is True"... not good/bad, but true.

Issued in 2000, by current pope Joseph Ratzinger, from Dominus Iesus, it is said, "The Catholic faithful are required to profess that there is a historical continuity - rooted in the apostolic succession - between the Church founded by Christ and the Catholic Church... The Church of Christ... continues to exist fully only in the Catholic Church..." Dominus Iesus, meaning "Jesus is Lord", struck me first. The document proclaims Jesus as Lord (not God/Father/Friend, but Lord), and continues to make currently politically-incorrect (therefore bold) statements. I ask myself, is this what I believe? Is this what is true? How can you argue with others (and more importantly with yourself), that the appeals of universalism ("I am non-denominational. I believe in Jesus.") or relativism ("Different cultures need different styles") aren't a part of God's will? What are the effects of ignoring "The True Church" & thereafter, the implications of accepting the Catholic faith? (Go to link for more.)

Apostles mean "send". The Father sends the Son who sends the Apostles, who send others right up to the present day Pope and leaders. I think "sending", or better yet, "conferring" (as in Luke 22:28) has such a beautiful meaning!

The infallibility of the Church's teachings applies only to Faith & Morals (from which all life and living stems!) So what is the Church not an authority on I was wondering... and Fr Luke mentions stuff like origins of the world. And later i think stuff like culture too isn't inclusive - e.g. you are supposed to give your parents 25% of your pay or you are not filial! ;p Kiddin'. Instead God emphasizes generosity, and honoring of one's parents.

The Catholic Church, the true church, is like a three-legged stool - with the legs of sacred Scripture, sacred Tradition & Magisterial teachings. Most denominations only acknowledge Scripture, while Eastern orthodox churches leave out Magisterial teachings (they see the Pope like any other bishop.) Only the true church holds/"owns" all three. Interestingly, while Catholics come and go, the core of the Church and the faith remains sound and true. That's amazing to me... and so different from news coming from Protestant communities, e.g. whole churches converting to Catholicism, and appointing females and even lesbians as priests. Personally i'd rather be with something with a strong core and weak margins, rather than with a faith that's weak on its own.

Was that too "all brains no heart"? Time for small caps!!! :)

"whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. whatever you loose on earth shall be loose in heaven..." praise god... may the pledge help to bind MSC together on earth so that we may also be bound in heaven! (i won't be taking it, because i'm so new, but really hope u'll all treat me almost as if i took it with you.)

thank you MSC for renewing my faith & bringing me into your midst!

love you, love you all. please love me! :)

and GOD BLESS!!!

Serene Frances

PS: Full text of Dominus Iesus here.

Everything has a reason

2008-09-08T11:30:00.003+08:00

This is my 2nd attempt to blog after a long while. The first time i cant remember what i wanted to write but i deleted after awhile. Dont feel very inspire that time. This time round, i just want to write on "If you are called, you will feel the joy to serve no matter what..."

Over the weekend, i literally went thro the different spectrums of serving, 1) witnessing others in minstry and 2) playing the role of a minister.

1) It seriously affirms me that a call to serve is for everyone and not for selected people only. It requires one to say "YES" and God will use the person or persons according to his plan. My padre was a great example to what i just stated above. A man who has given up his life to serve in the kingdom of God in every areas that God has invited him to. Despite the long and packed weekend he has (from one location to another), he is there to serve his people with great joy and love. Indeed, it must be a call to such a vocation. haha.. trust me .. if you are behind the scene looking at the whole entire retreat that i was involved over the weekend, you might share the same sentiments as me. Secondly, the catechists who are all so self giving, all of them married and giving up their time for the future of the church is something so commentable. They are those who are always behind the scene to make sure that there is enough water, food and in short the entire welfare of all of us. (frankly, this task is the one of the important thing that cannot be neglected). Of course, i didnt forget my fellow facilitators from all the communities that was present.. 36 of us (between the age of 19 to 26.. hhehe... never too old to serve) to be friends to the 90 confirmants .. wow.. amazing.. God indeed will send his labourers into HIS vineyard.

2) It is a great joy for me to be able to serve in various ways in the retreat. I can testify that the joy that i had in serving was so so so overwhelming even though i was so tired and disappointed at different juncture of the retreat. But God's grace is sufficient and He is more interested in his people than i do. An amazing experience i had was at the pre-prayer before our night session in the make shift adoration room that was "constructed" by some of us. wow.. the experience was awesome and the peace, love and joy was way beyond description.. i just fell prostrayed spiritually before the Blessed Sacrament and allow Him to take control.. Weeeeeeeee... amazing.. if you are there, you will sure feel it. Praise the Lord. Next, at the prayer station, where we did praying over.. haha...no matter how tired I was.. I feel the call to serve and share it with those who come and want to experience God in Prayer.. I thank God for calling me..

Love of God .. .. . are we in love with him??? that is a question we all are fighting to find out.. certain days Yes, certain days No.. Never give up BUT CLING on to him .. as it was spelt out in one of the PnW songs

" Your Grace is Enough
Your Grace is Enough
Your Grace is Enough
O Lord"

It is our CALL to serve HIM. Allow the little small encounters with God to sustain in your search and journey.. Do not stop Loving him... He is tangible.. He is real.... AMEN!!!

Ken

Mustard Seed Community

Hello all

into the unknown

building priorities

Literally SAVED!

united in prayer

Feeling old?

Because you love reading about us...:p

We will rise again

quite an overdue sharing

the right one

breaking the rules

The Decline of Confrontation

A simple but beautiful event

A reconciled friendship

On correcting a community member

Sharing my Lenten struggles

Lent

In my time away

mistaking our faith as one of expectations

How do we know if this is the one we shd marry?

One good test of this is to see whether we are drawing closer to our church family. If our courtship is Godly, it should result in stronger friendships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We should be drawn more deeply into ministry and service and true communion with the Body of Christ.

If our courtship is Godly, it should be good for our families as well. They may or may not like it, depending upon their own openness to the Lord's will, but it should be good for them. If the people closest to us are better off, that is a very good sign that we're doing the Lord's will.

Approval is a different thing than being better off. When it comes to approval, we should seek the input of wise counselors and our most trustworthy friends. They must be involved all along the way. Their approval must factor in as well.

A relationship which draws us away from our Church community, causes harm to our loved ones, or is discouraged by our most trustworthy guides, is a relationship which is probably not Godly, but selfish.

But, if all indicators are that the relationship is in fact Godly, that our desire for the things of God is indeed increasing, then we can gain great insight from our desire for the person we are courting.

The Lord Himself is the creator of our romantic and passionate desires. He wants to fulfill them, not to eradicate them. What is needed is simply that our desire be Godly, that it be ordered to and integrated with the things that are of God.

How do we recognize Godly desire? By these three things--that we are drawn to the person's mind, body, and spirit.

I am drawn to her mind. I am enamored of the way she thinks about things and expresses her thoughts. Her way of understanding the world around her energizes and excites me. I want to know more about what she thinks. This is an essential and irreplaceable aspect of attraction.

Evelyn Chen

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